read one of a entry by a fellow friend who wrote about all his ex-girlfriends and rating every single one of them...
it gave me an idea of writing but i didnt have to courage to cos this will be a relatively heavy topic for me to work on...
dunno what got into me tonight, i feel writing it...
for the 2 of them who came into my life and taught me how life should be...
i am not going to rate anyone of them cos to me every relationship is different and unique...
just gonna share how these 2 men changed my life...
they are important to 佳惠 to Angela...
1. Eric aka Eric Sky aka QingFa
He is the man in my life... Maybe alot of you all you dont know or maybe i should say i didnt mention much about him... our relationship dragged for more than 7 years before we really decide to part each other...
Met him when i was 16 in May... Its a weird start for our relationship. i knew him through an internet pal of mine... and we met up on a random day not on a date but just purely me accompanying him to grab some stuff at sim lim aft his attachement. he was in Poly Yr 3...
Just some background of 佳惠 (He and his family calls me by my chinese name): i use to be a tom-boy. Tee-shirts, berms, baggy jeans, platform slippers
It wasnt a pleasant meetup cos he passed alot of harsh comments on me throughout the evening we were together... and in my mind i was thking "IDIOT! i will never meet u ever again" he commented alot on my posture, my dressing and the way i carry myself...
after the outing i was thking "This guy will definitely not be my next Boyfriend" ... lol
surprisingly we still kept in close contact the night after we met and on the next day which is a friday 8 June 2001, 11:17pm he asked if i want to be his gf and randomly i agreed (dun ask me why cos i also dunno why i agreed)... we met up again the very next day for a proper date.. lol
thats how the whole relationship started... "Random" lolx...
I had a great 7 years by his side, he gave me the freedom, the respect and the love that i had never thought of... he changed me throughout the years... he made me wear skirts, and as time goes by the skirts gets shorter day by day...lolx... he made me wear tank tops and slowly tubes and dresses... because of him i changed willingly and learning to put on make up and even loose weight... for the great guy he had been, i am determined to loose weight for him (i was close to 72kg when i started the r/s with him)... he had never asked me to... i remebered very clearly that i ever asked him "dear, how does all ur guy's gfs look like?? are the all slim and pretty?? Are u embarrased to bring me out?" and he assured me with his ans "no! i dun really care how others look like cos they are not my gf.. i like the way u r.. whichever way u look" i was touched by his words and bcos of this i am determinded to changed to a better me... for him... i want him to have a presentable gf... from there i started putting on make up, doing my hair... lolx... that makes the new Angela today....
He is the man that knows me the best... even until today... no other person even my parents knows me and understands me more than he does... he can tell me my decisions even way before i told him anythg... he is that amazing... i was depend on him on alot of issues... whenever i meet with any problems or unhappiness he can solve it for me or enlighten me in a way... No one else have ever done anythg better than him... Its him who assisted me all the way and taught me the way in life...
he is not from a wealthy family, but he always has his way to provide me with thgs that he knows i like.. and surprises that i have always dream of... thats him...
he never knows how to say "I Love You" throughout the 7 years he rarely tells me that.. but i can really feel it... from my heart...
we adopted a dog together that's our 'Son' (Duffy is now with him)... we are really like a family... we planned for everythg including marriage... we almost got married when i was 21... but due to age and ambitions (mainly me) we decided to postponed it and eventually i lost it....
i dun wish to mention the bad side of him cos to me, those points are actually unique and special to me... all i can say is.. because of my expectations of myself and future, i lost the best relationship anyone can ever get... the best man that every girl can dream of...
I will always remember him... forever in my life... He is the man...
theres too much i can write about him... so i guess just have to really cut it short...
Wanna say a big Thank You to him...
thanks for everything and thanks for understanding....
even at the point when i wanna leave... he understands... and he knows....
Thanks so much dear...
Deep from my heart i wish U all the best for ur relationship... Best of luck for your future and for your everything... May u and daddy mummy mei mei be blessed with the best of luck and good health... =)
2. Leonard aka Leona
He is the guy that i made the same mistake twice.. lol
My very first bf when i was 15 and we were together for only 1 month... he dumped me for another ger he met...
we met again after 8 years and very quickly we fell in love with each other...
at that moment he is actually attached, so we kept thgs really offline and personal...
until the day he broke up with his gf then i started considering being with him...
he is really sweet and gentle towards me... we meet up every single night regardless how late how tired we were... we will definitely meet... he gave me the love thats completely different from eric...
we went to places to explore in the night, we went for supper, he waited for me at my office regardless how late i work to, he always made me day by doing silly thgs and giving me surprises... i love the guy who is so gentle to me... so giving, so loving...
we started off a small biz (our blogshop) and we went into investments together... i learnt alot about the outside world from him... he is a knowlegable person.. he knows alot.. about everything... he picks thgs up quickly and his analaytical skills is amazing... the way he analyses the market and thgs is super charming... lolx... we did good when the recession started...
good times dun last... his playful character ruined the whole relationship... subsequently the relationship is full of lies, broken promises and rejections... he choose to leave me for his fun and his freedom with his guys...
from this relationship i learnt alot and i lost alot... i learnt not to be silly and naive... never be too much of a giver and never fill ur life with nuttin but love... he showed me the dark side of man and relationship... he left me memories and pain...
i guess its from here i lost the ability to trust and to love...
all i feel like to saying to him is:
Leona, u choose it this way... i respect ur decision and i promised myself that i will live better day by day... i will no longer be the angela crying and asking u to come back... i will no longer do that... 被抛弃第一次傻， 第二次笨.. i will wake up from here from this point and get my life back..
and if really we are fated for the 3rd time, please either let it be my last relationship or let me be the one to dump u... lolx...
thanks for the lesson u taught me... i still wish u the best in whatever you do... your future is in your hand, to cherish it or to ruin it, take your pick... i will be here as a friend to support u... =)
i learnt alot from these 2 relationships... regardless if its a painful experience... i enjoyed the moments with the 2 of them.... honestly speaking, i still love them... esp leonard cos at this point the pain is still relatively fresh... but i'm gonna lock the feelings for these 2 men in my life in the treasure box in my heart... locked and not gonna open it up until miracle happen ba... =)
Love is Sweet and nice yet painful...
我用真心面对每一段感情，换来的只是美丽的回忆
我无冤无悔...
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