4th Day Being Sick @ Home

Today is already the 4th day i am sick at home...
argh... fever hit me on monday night after dinner with boss and work...

lucky benny is nice enough to come all the way to send me to doc in the middle of the night.
Thanks benny =)

1st night the temperature hit up to 38.2 deg... the nurse was kinda shocked that she immediately put on a mask and handed me a mask... hmmmm....
but to me its kinda common la.. whenever i have serious flu and fever, this temperature is pretty common....

i got better the next day and i went out with my fellow N.O.S.S
this is taken by terence.. he say must take lor...

after tue night i never head out anymore cos my temperature never go down and in fact it keep rising... =(
today is already the 3rd day i am home =( so bored... no one talk to me...

i received a surprise delivery in the morning =)
Thanks Wilx for the porridge and sweet... =)
i feel so loved by N.O.S.S...

so worried about my sales these few days cos i am home not being able to work on it.. =(
haiz... really need alot of luck....

I WANNA GET WELL FAST!! I WANNA GO OUT WITH N.O.S.S... I mISs them so Much!!

i dreamt of him again...
on tuesday night after i ate my medication, i dozed off...
and i dreamt of leonard again...

i my dreams, he came back looking for me, and told me tt he will change as long as i stay by his side... i am really happy in my dreams... happier than i can imagine...
when i wake up, i feel so disappointed... cos its a dream afterall...

last night i have the urge of calling him, i cant control myself...
i called him but he's outside with his friends, so i hang up in less than a min...
=( at least i heard his voice...

dunno why i miss him so much these few days too =(

Finally Told~~

It had been almost 5 mths since i broke up with leonard.
Things are going on fine for him i guess.
and on my side, i am kinda coping well on and off.

for these while, besides the fact that i am not able to completely let go.
the other issue thats running in my mind is how to tell my parents about it.

cant imagine, after 5 mths and i have yet to tell my parents about it.
for the past mths, on and off they will ask me regarding leonard and why he hasnt been coming up to my place.
as i dun have the courage to tell them, i had been coming up with funny funny reasons.
and finally, i no longer have to lie. No more!

My mum came to my room to speak to me few days back.
talking to me about my job and stuff. and i guess as they are not really convinced by my excuses for him not appearing at my place, my mum asked me again regarding him.
She started off by asking me if he will be joining us for their birthday dinner (in aug).

I just felt that this will be a good time to tell them as i wont wanna disappoint them just before their birthdays. So i told her the truth. i simply said "妈，我们分开了!"
There was a moment of slience before she make any comment.
i guess she can sense that i was kinda sad when i told her the truth, so she simply reply "orh, ok lor" and left my room. without askin me about what happened.

until today, she hasnt ask me a single thg about it.
i guess, she wont ask me for the details as she knows that if i wanna share, i will tell her even without her asking.

Really appreciates that she never ask further cos i wont know how to answer and in fact, i feel that i might just come up with another story to cover up the facts.
i dun wanna lie anymore. not anymore towards them.

My parents rarely asked about my relationships and they always respect my decisions.
so far, they are ok with both of my ex bfs and have no objections of me being with them.
the sad fact is, i didnt manage to hold on to them and secure the relationship.

i dunno how long its gonna take me to sort out my mind and feeling.
i also dunno how long will it take for me to find another bf.
all i wanna do now is to show them that i am happy and i can take care of myself.
wont want them to worry for me anymore.

My Lovely N.O.S.S

My Sadden life had been better recently with the help of the N.O.S.S
N.O.S.S represents Nights of Subaru Singles... lol

This name is derived from the fact that the 4 guys in the group drove Subarus (Coincidentally) and we always heads out in the night.
I added the word Singles behind cos 4 out of 5 of us are single and i want somethg to represent me in the name... so i simply added it.. lolx
now we are still in the progress of generating better name.. considering la... lolx...

i was kinda high on one of the night and i started naming every single car...

Wilx's Subaru is named "Hong Hong" (红红): He is the only red plate wor. so best fit name is 红红..
Benny's Subaru is named "Char Bo" = "Jar Bo": His car plate start with SJB.. lol.. i gave him alot of choices ar.. but he dun wan.. so dun care... just accept the fact tt its "char Bo" =p
Nic's Subaru is named "Chou Chou"(丑丑): His was the easiest to name, cos its the uglist version of imprezza.. lolx..
Terence's Subaru is named "Jolin": He had been using this name for some time le.. cos of his car plate numbers.. lolx
to realise, all the names of the cars are ger liked.. keke... match me... cos i am the only ger ma... so it wont be that lonely lor..

Introducing the N.O.S.S:

Wilson, Benny, Terence, Nicholas..
The Angel with her knights... lolx... Thanks guys... Great to have u all around...
More fun coming along!! Looking forward to the trip with u all... Yeah!!!

"Nobody"

Hasnt been feelin wonderful recentli...
dunno y... just dun seem to be able to be as happy as before...

but lucky i have N.O.S.S by my side...
went KTV with the till 4am in the morning...
hanging out with them had been the most enjoyable times i had these 2 mths...
thanks alot guys...

Thanks for the song and "dance", it really brighten my night...

In video: Benny, Nic, Wilx, Terence & Andy...

Thanks guys... muacks

A Night Like that

Generally people drag nights when they have too much in their minds to think about and to worry about.
this time my case is kinda opposite.
i dread the night when my heart felt empty and my mind went blank.

i dun exactly know what i am thinking about and how i am feeling..
its purely clear and peaceful which i fear the most.

seems that i had kinda lost some of my senses and my analytical ability.
i cant clear my own thoughts and define my own wants and needs.
i am jus surviving day by day doing what i think i am suppose to do without a real motive behind.
loosing of my own life i can say. sad fact in life.

picking oneself up is not an easy task. it requires loads of courage and support.
i do have the support but i am sure i dun have the courage now.
seems that there are tonnes of things for me to search and retrieve back into my life.

meanwhile, life goes on......

Singapore Flyer 25 June 09

Finally went onto the flyers. supposed to be with him as we planned but sadly its not.
gave my 1st time onboard to my fellow family members in AIA.. lolx
it was a welcome session to newly joined members and also to coming team mates..
so as indicated, our whole bear family is there cos we are NEW too! lol

This is the mass group pic of the whole group of passengers on board the came capsule. taken before we board. nice rite.
this was taken on board the capsule.

Now introducing the Bear Family:
Our very first family photo taken (Left to Right): Shane, Joelle, Bear Bear (Eric), Crystal & Me

we all rushed down to the Flyers after work. Poor shane has to rushed from his foundation training. we were so worried that he wont make it on time and can only wave goodbye.. lolx

The 3 angels in the family. Theres something funny about the 3 of us appearing together all the time. People in the office have problem differentiating us by our names. So John simply call us 星星，月亮，太阳. No specific indication as who is which by generally this 3 terms... lolx... damn old sch lor..
These are some of the ladies in the office. Esp Jennifer on the extreme left. Thanks alot to her for taking the pics for us on that day cos we simply forgot about bringing a camera la.. lolx...

was a short 25 mins journey and nothing much to see actually.
but it was fun to be there with all of them. we were simply playing and running ard in the capsule. The funniest moment is when bear bear make fun of crystal who is afraid of height.
lol... nice session

i wont go up the flyers again in the near future until the IR is up ba... lolx

My Werid Monday

this is a monday full of ups and downs...
2 morning appointments killing me with the blue feeling...
bad news from daniel made me feel so lost for the day...
closing 1 deal brings me back to life again...
talking to him again drag me back to the cruel reality again...

spoke to him on msn randomly...
was a nice chat actually. but still the sourish and painful feelin hit me...
causin me to be still awake at 5am in the morning...

saw the pics of his new ger(s)... *Ouch*
this is the expected feelin i guess..

i have alot in mind that i wanna blog about..
theres alot in mind i wanna tell him...
but dunno y at this point at this moment, i am just stuck with nuttin..
i dunno wat to say and wat to write...

i need someone to enlighten me. tell me why is things like that?
~lost~