Heart Broken~~

i cant find a proper term to descirbe my feelin besides scattered, heart broken..
this is the rare days tt i cant even control myself..

i went to his place on sun late afternoon..
to return him some of his stuff..

i called his house when i am on my way there..
he's not home.. out already..
lucky his mon and sis still home..
informed his sister tt i'll be droppin by shortly..

on my way, i keep remindin myself that regardless wat.. i have to control..
i cannot let his mum see my tears..

the moment stepped into the void deck under his blk..
i saw his mum and Duffy..
i called out to his mum..
and his mum smiled back at me and said
"Duffy, mummy lai le. Ni Kan Mummy lai le"
Duffy immediately ran over to me pulling his mum along as he is on leash..
he keep sniffing my skirt..
i bent down after i greeted his mum again..
i hugged Duffy and played wif his head..
had been so long since i last did tt...

after which we went up to his hse..
on the way up.. Duffy keep running ard me.. jumping up and down..
its the way he use to do it..
He as unleashed the moment we went into the hse..

i went into his room and place the stuff on his desk..
then i saw ah mei at the door..
changed le.. grow up le wor.. know how to doll herself le..
i went into her room to have a short chat wif her..

then we went out to the kitchen to find mummy..
i sat down in the living room wif her for a while..
i guess its even less than 5mins..
bcos at that moment i am on the verge of breaking into tears..
i felt tt i am pretty rude at the moment cos i am shortening all my ans to her qns..
cos i really feel like crying..

i left saying tt my friend is waiting for me downstairs..
and afterwhich i headed straight to the door w/o turning back..
i even close the gate wif my back facing her..
cos my tears alr rolled down uncontrollably..

i am sorry.. i dun mean to be rude.. i jus cant control..
i will go back to visit them again.. i realli miss them alot..