我已开始融化了

this title is extracted from the previous entry that i posted...
y do i specifically chose this??

to be honest i am not too sure too..
jus tt recentli or in fact for the past few months..
the weak and lousy angela had been exposing herself more than the strong and cheerful one...

melting...
in the form of tears i guess...
i hasnt been able to control my tears as well as before...
the slightest issue that happen will make me tear...
just like today....
the pain is actually bearable.. but for some reason, i just cant help but teared...

my heart can longer defend itself...
my emotions seems to be out of control...
dunno wat got into me...

hasnt really been who i wanted myself to be...
or how i used to be...

i had made some promises to myself...
hope i can really make it...
pray that thgs will be better as time goes by....

*i dunno if i can be who u want me to be or who u expect me to be..... i will just try my best.. i promise*

女人

saw tis is my profile...
wrote this some time back...
its like how i feel now...

女人是水做的， 我也不例外。。
为有不同的，
是我选择把水结成冰，
让它不轻易融化。。。

这样一来， 眼泪也就不容易掉下。。。

但有时， 我也无法控制。。。
不知为何眼泪还是选择掉下。。。
漏出我最脆弱的一面。。。

女人无论再坚强， 也会碰到融化的一天。。。

请不要把别人的快乐，建立在我的痛苦之上

Yakuza Moon

Finally finish reading this book...
got it together with crystal just before the exams...
but have to keep my hands off them until i finish my papers...

life story of a Yakuza's Daughter...
telling abt her life, ups and downs...
the life she had from young...
the men she met...
the choices she made...

very interesting... read abt the yakuza culture and how man treated women during her time...
she is a strong and determined lady...
if i were her, i might have made a diff choice..
like the way she focus on family love and bond in the book...
the memories she had wif her family when young, and her commitment to the family...
family is to respect each others' choice and to love them for who they are, help them whenever needed... tts family...

only sad fact abt the book is that there is no update on her present life...
hmmm....
she is the writer... cool tattoo... i would never have the courage to do it....

原来爱情这么伤

原来爱情这么伤

我睁开眼睛
却感觉不到天亮
东西吃一半
莫名其妙哭一场
我忍住不想
时间变得更漫长
也与你有关
否则又开始胡思乱想
我日月无光
忙得不知所以然
找朋友交谈
其实全帮不上忙
以为会习惯
有你在才是习惯
你曾住在我心上
现在空了一个地方
原来爱情这么伤
比想像中还难
泪水总是不听话
幸福躲起来不声不响
太多道理太牵强
道理全是一样
说的时候很简单
爱上后却正巧打乱
只想变得坚强
强到能够去忘
无所谓悲伤
只要学会抵抗
原来爱情这么伤
原来爱情是这样
这样峰回路转
泪水明明流不干
瞎了眼还要再爱一趟
有一天终于打完
思念的一场战
回过头再看一看
原来爱情那么伤
下次还会不会这样

命中主定我爱你!!

<命中主定我爱你>
This is the drama that i just finished watching...
like what it's title tells, its a story about 2 persons destined to be together...
a foolish mistake forced the couple to be together... and also because of the mistake, they learn about life, learn how to love, learn how to fight for the dreams and life, learn how to treasure...
a show with a happy ending... =)

every stage and experience in life is an important lesson...
somehow or rather we will learn from own/people's experiences...
and i learn a little from the drama... lol
had been a long time since i last watched a drama that make me teared like mad...
this feeling is kinda "Shiok" lolx

dramas are all stories made up by people...
concepts based on individual experiences and dreams...
and alot of the incidents and situations in the dramas are things that we wished it would ever happen in our lives but its not within our control...

i realised all taiwan dramas like to begin wif gers dreaming of being a princess...
being the princesses in the fairytales....
finding their prince charming coming to their rescue...
i thk this is wat all the gers dream of.. being pretty and nice... having their prince charming by their sides supporting them... living happily ever after... lolx...
i prayed for mine too... but will it ever happen??
我的白马王子在哪里?? lolx

people always says that "Fate is in your hands","命运掌握在自己手中"
i just wonder how much can my hands hold on to??
how much can i grab with my own hands??

i always believes in fate and destiny...
even after bad experiences... i still believe...
but i guess, now i will take fate and destiny cautiously...
害怕命运再跟我开玩笑了...

they also say "Life is a gamble"
for every decision made, its either a winning decision or a losing one...
it depends on your chocie and once the choice is made, u have to be brave and to face the consequences...
if u made the right choice, congratulate yourself and proceed to the next...
if u failed, try to salvage the situation and learn from the mistake...

this reminds me of leonard..
he always tells me about him gambling in life...
it might not be in monetary form of gambling, it can be anything that happened around you..
u just have to make a decision, place a bet and wait to see the outcome...
regardless what is the result, simply face it and deal with it...

i took a gamble in the relationship with him and i lost...
nvm... i will face it and learn from it...
but leonard, u took another bet from now on... u are betting on ur future, life and family...
be careful in the decisions u make okie... cos the results might be too much for u to bear...
all the best =)

gonna continue watching new dramas...
lol... this is gonna be my new hobby for the time being ba... =p
to pass time and to learn....

Best Saturday Night Supper!!

I had the best supper tonight!!
supper wif no one else but my very own sister...
and the best thing is---- ANGELA tried to CYCLE!!
lol

i am freaking adventurous tonight la...
i had never been able to cycle properly and tonight dunno y i jus had the courage to cycle to the coffee shop nearby wif my sis (on her blades) to get supper...

initially we planned to eat there...
but we wanna let our Qian Bao Bei have a share of the fun so we decided to just buy the food back...

the shop is jus 20 mins (walking distant) from home... and we took almost an hour lor.. lolx
thanks to the lousy cyclist which is me...
wasted so much time trying to cycle properly and keeping my boy safe in the basket... lol...

the bike belongs to my goddad la... the seats are too high for me... cant event touch the ground lor... i ended up breaking 3 of my toe nails...
idiot... lol... freaking painful (not bcos its bleeding, but bcos i took some time to let my nails grow into its previous length la) argh!!

nvm, its a nice experience anyway... lucky i have my sis ard to help me adjust the seat, if not i thk i might even end up breaking all my 10 toe nails la... lolx...
feel so lousy...
mus cycle more... so that i can master the skill of cycling wif my boy boy in the basket...
hehe.... next aim is to cycle to bedok interchange... LOL...

The night was boring and lonely initially...
my sister and my dog brightened my night...
Nice supper and we watched dvd all night long....
had been ages since we last did that...

Friday Night @ Arena

Wooo~~~
Finally exams are over and Finally i get to Party!!!
=p

exams ended for more than a week, and emily finally completed all her papers and we can party... lol
had been waiting for her to party wif me... cos we already planned for the after exam activity way before the papers started.. party animals indeed... lol

roy also came back in time to join us... keke...
ryan didi also managed to make it... happy~~~

initial plan was to head to attica... but for the sake of our dear roy, we headed to arena instead... *grinz* (emily shld understand y i say tt la)

Met a few new friends... Diana, Janice, Rebacca... pretty gers... keke
i have new liking for pretty gers la... die liao...

coincidently bumped in to alex there, and really have to thank him for sharing his table with us...
we went pretty late, so couldnt get a proper place.. lucky can share with him, if not we all have to wonder ard le... thanks....

was kinda happy that last night cos it was the very first time i gt a free drink from the management there for qualifying for the "Dress to Kill - You are Beautiful"
lol... abit bhb la...
felt flattered by the compliment... thanks thanks...
gonna keep the stud as a souvenior... lolx

Tiring but fun night... thanks guys... Hugz