Bitichilicious Angela

Happy 2012!!!

2012-01-04T15:45:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 2012!!!!

Its already the 4th day of 2012 and i have yet to come up with my New Year resolution!!! OMG!!
Really have to come up with some before CNY!!
Mus self motivate for the year!!!

Countdown for 2012 at home together with my little precious for the 1st year!! lolx..
When we were all so into the TV telecasting the countdown concert!!
We realise that Princess decided to countdown in her own way!! Wahahahaha
Christmas was much better... she is awake at least... lolx...
We were at my maiden house for the celebration with a great feast prepared by my aunt... followed by a mini celebration at the Bliss Residence...

This year not too much of major or happening celebration for us as we have to take princess mood and well being into consideration.. For us the main thg for the festive season is TOGERTHERNESS!!!

Contradicting Feelins

2011-11-22T16:47:00.002+08:00

Okay its decided that im releasing my maid and sending my girl to let my mum look after...

Why i name this post as contradicting feelings is bcos some how or rather im feeling a little upset abt the fact that i have to let her go...

she had been a great help for the past months that she is with us... really glad and lucky to have her... but at this juncture i really cant afford to keep her...

Im so sorry...

I guess wat i can do for her now is to help her find another employer that hire her and treat her well.. and i guess a little compensation for her..

As mention from the start i guess ill help her to prepare Christmas pressie for her kids and family.. and maybe a little bonus for her...

oh my god i really dunno wat else i can say or what i shld say...

now wats running in my mind is how im gonna break the news to her and it mus b in the way that she wont b hurt... cos its really not completely her fault.. Omg im feeling crap...

i jus feel tt im a bad employer..

ok this entry is in a mess but this jus reflects how im feeling now... Sharks!!!

3rd Month with my Darling....

2011-11-21T15:50:00.003+08:00

Its really nice to spend time with my girl...
really envy parents/mummies that spend most of their time with their kids...
taking part in every bits of their kids growing up...
i really hope that i wont miss out any of it...

Darling has yet to learn how to sit or crawl.. but she is slowly progressing... hopefully i can see her turning and crawling soon!!
Now she can lift her head when lied flat on the bed and she is learning to grab stuff...
holding her toys, pulling my hair and pinching ppl... lolx...

she is more n more playful... now she will stay awake in the day and seek for companion to play with... and in the night she can really sleep for long hrs...
Good for me n wilx cos we are wrking in the day...

gonna keep a close watch on her in order not to miss out any part of her growing up

Kaden Boy's 1st Birthday!!!!

2011-11-02T16:26:00.002+08:00

Happy Belated Birthday Kaden!!!

Its the 1st time i brought Princess to attend a birthday party of her new friend...
lolx... it was a nice and sweet experience for me... and i guess for Princess too!! haha...

Met Gin & Jimmy there too... Congrates to them too cos they are now waiting for the arrival of their 2nd child in feb 2012 and its a Princess Too!!! Swee la!!

Seeing all young parents with their kids at the party is so cool!! its a different experience for me... Hopefully when its Princess's 1st Birthday i wont Boo Boo la... lolx..
Cant wait for Princess's 1st birthday!!! i should start planning for her soon!!! lolx... Kiasu mummy

Kah Hway's Wedding!!!

2011-11-02T16:19:00.003+08:00

CONGRATULATIONS To Joanne & Shi Ming !!!
After a long run they finally got married... as in went through the customary!!!

God had been nice to the baby ger in our group.. spare her from major heartaches from relationships... Unlike most of us who went through betrayal and shits... So Happy to see the arrival of this day... Really Happy for her...

30th Oct 2011 marks the day of her married life and officially she is Mrs Foo... lolx...
attended the dinner with Hubbee at Carlton Hotel...
Its very nice of her to locate us near the aisle and near the stage, we can catch every moments on this special day...

Was seated with a bunch of old pals from sec sch... great pals, great jokes and wonderful couple... its a nice Sunday night out!!

Although am a little disappointed that i am unable to join in the fun throughout the day but still im very happy for the 2 of them...

Congratulations once again and baby girl my Princess Liz needs a playmate soon!!!

Deepest Condolences !!!

2011-10-24T17:24:00.002+08:00

Met Fion on friday for Dinner and she told me that Charmaine had left...
Honestly i dun really know much about this girl but when Fion went into the details.. it really caught my mind...

Got the blog link from her and decide to start reading it... So on and off i will try to catch entry or so... It really touches my heart and tears just cant help but keep flowing down my cheeks...

Dear friends, you can catch and read about the Brave Charmaine here http://ourfeistyprincess.blogspot.com/

To Mummy Cyn:

I'm so Proud of you... you are a great mummy... you had already done what you can for your angel... Be strong, Jase still needs you... I'm sure that your little angel wants you to be happy even she is not ard physically...

She will always be there for you and Jase... Watching you from above...

To the strongest Charmaine:

You had done well... You had done better than any other one of us... Now you are already in good hands, please watch and bless your mummy and kor kor... They love you and you will always be on their minds...

We are all so proud of you.... In our hearts, you had won the battle against the monster...

Working Mom !!

2011-10-18T13:18:00.002+08:00

After 3 months of maternity, i am back to work!!
Back to life and back to reality...

Some how or rather my aspiration changed...
i no longer wants to work and carve a career on my own...
now what i pray for is one day my hubby will do well so that i can be a housewife...
LOLX... some how being a housewife seems a joyous thing to me... so that i can spend more time with my dearest darling...

i use to feel that doing housework is so tough and boring...
staying at home looking after kids is such a waste of time...
but now its like a complete change in thinking...

i would rather live a simpler life in order to spend more time with my darling...
LV, Prada, Gucci use to be the pampering moments... the moment i know i can afford them or own them i feel that i had achieved something...
but now i rather NOT have all these items... how often i will really use them?
i would rather spend the money on my daughter and spending time with her, trying to teach her something give me the sense of achievement...

I admire those working moms that can cope and manage between their job and their kids...
Its tough, esp the long hours away from home... I'm thinking of my little one every moment in the office... How i wish i can jus head home to hug her...

Like hubby says, you can choose to live simple, enjoy the MOST basic life with no shopping, no luxury items, no extra spending, no savings or to have the extra income, extra cash to spend to pamper urself, ur spouse and ur kid, live a better life with better standard of living...

Its all individual choice....

Being First Time Mom

2011-10-17T15:50:00.002+08:00

After Princess Is home its the start of our nightmare....

New borns are jus so hard to predict what they wan and hard to meet their expectations...
I can still remember the long nights i have to carry her trying to make her sleep...
It can be hours of rocking and singing to her... Argh

We tried ways and means to let her get use to sleeping in her baby cot...
Liz can sleep real well in the day on the rocker but when it comes to the night, she simply refuse to sleep... and even she sleeps in her baby cot that might only last her about 30 mins or so before the siren goes off and its the start of the long night...

Lucky enough hubby is there to help me to take shift.. but being first time mom, i cant help but got a little paranoid... esp when she starts whining or making noise... I will just jump out from my bed and head to her... but this did harm to myself cos bcos of too much movements, my c-sect wounds didnt recover.... it dragged another week before i can remove the stitches...

The pain is bearable but it bothering cos the pain jus hit me in shock.... i hate painkillers so its worse....

Hubby keeps reminding me not to get too stress or paranoid over the baby cos it might cause me post natal depression... the 1st week really kills... i started crying cos i cant handle my baby (she keeps crying and i dunno how to make her stop) and i gt very worried cos of my low milk supply... these stuff really occupy my mind throughout the day and i resort to all sorts of ways solving these 2 problems...

Hubby's health and work is also kinda affected cos of the sleepless nights... he is so use to sleep in a quiet environment and now he has to bear with the crying while i look after liz... and he dun get enough sleep... His asthma came back and his temper gt a little bad... but lucky we talk to each other alot... and eventually we work out some form of schedule so that both of us have enough sleep...

I realize communication is very important at this point... I guess it also help in bringing the couple closer...

Now being a mommy myself... i love my mom so much... thinking of the trouble and issues i had given her when i was a baby...

Mommy i love you!!!

Introducing Princess Liz!!

2011-10-11T15:25:00.003+08:00

Officially Introduce Princess Liz Lam in my blog!!!
Looking after a new born is seriously no joke...
Every single thing have to take note and have to be careful....
From eating to sleeping to cleaning up...
every single detail...
Have to take note of alot of things...
- Her feeds (how much she drinks, how frequent is the feed)
- Her Sleep (How long she sleeps, her posture, room temp)
- Her pee & poo (how many times a day, wats the color of her stools)
- Her clothes (wat she wears, swaddle her etc)
and the the list goes on and on and on.....

No joke man... esp the first 2 weeks, her eating cycle, sleeping cycle etc is all haywire....
Nothing seems to be right, nothing seems ok... Super tense up...
But luckily things got better as times goes by....

Loving her more and more as the day passes!!!

Delivering Journey !!!

2011-10-10T14:30:00.004+08:00

This entry was suppose to be updated at least 2 months ago...
This also means that it has been more than 2 months since i last updated my blog.... OMG!!
Am so occupied and entertained by my newborn Princess for the past few months...

Delivery Journey wasnt easy for me i guess... bcos i cant deliver my precious through natural birth... Have to go through c-sect....

3rd Aug
Due for my weekly checkup as its the last few weeks to my due date... (EDD : 8 Aug 2011)
Sad fact i cant have a National Day baby... according to the gynae i will have to induce my baby on the very day... which means i have to admit into hospital in the afternoon...

This is how my tummy bloats to before i head to the hospital...
Luckily i had my stuff all prepared, went home for a GOOD bath and had a sinful meal before hubby drives me to Mount Alvernia...
'Check-In' with loads of Barangs prepared for my 3 days stay at the 6 star hotel... Weird thg is they immediately put me in the delivery suit... scare me... cos to my understanding they will only bring us to the delivery suit when i am all ready to give birth... but surprising its like if they have available rooms, they will 'upgrade' your stay at no additional cost... lolx...

Good this way too cos hubby gets to have a little place on his own to rest while i'm going through the waiting and contraction...

The nurse inserted the pills for induction at about 5pm in the afternoon and afterwhich to me its purely boredom... i fel no pain, no irritation, literally no signs of delivering at all...
I can even Camwhore, explore the delivery suits and visit the other mummies waiting for delivery...

10pm is the time my nightmare starts... 1st contraction pain felt... and its also the time hubby got me food from J8 cos i hate the junk that they serve... Hubby bought Pizza for me but i cant really enjoy cos of the contraction...

1st tear from contraction hits me at ard 12 midnight... and stubborn me refuse to ask for epidural thinking that it will wear off and wont last till i deliver.... madness... i screamed for help at 1am cos its really unbearable... according to the nurse they can only give me epidural if i dilate till at least 3 cm... lucky bt the time my gynae came, epi can be given...

I can only rem Dr Chan walking in and out and they gave me my dosage of epi which ended my long night... Epidural is heaven at that time... i doze off shortly after that and hubby also manage to catch some sleep...

8am in the morning my gynae came and do a round of check and according to her i will be ready for delivery ard 12noon (4Aug)... the wait starts to drag and since midnight, darling's heartbeat weakens on and off... around 11am the nurse detected tt Precious's heartbeat is slowly down... therefore she called for my gynae... Gynae came back to 12 to deliver precious but my dearest refuse to slide down the path, so no choice, i have to c-sect...

I have fear towards operating theatre, towards knifes and stuff on me... i wasnt sure at that point and i started to panic.. i started shivering... Thank God i have my hubby by me.. before they push me to the operating theatre, hubbe said 'JIA YOU' to me... i cant really hear him cos he is outside the delivery suit waiting.. they dun allow him in as they are preparing me for the operation...

Hubby is a brave man to me... he seek for permission from my gynae to go into the operating theatre with me... it really calms me down seeing him sitting by my side when i'm lying on the operating platform... i can see that he is gan jiong too alothough he claimed that he is not... My gynae gt to remind him to take camera and waited for him to pick up the camera before the start the operation.. lolx

Throughout the process, hubby keeps telling me the progress and what are the docs and nurses doing... to me is like WTF!! lolx...

The whole operation is smooth despite the fact that they have to make 2 attempts to pull precious out... lolx... she refuse to come out even i go through c-sect...

Princess Liz is born!!! Weighing 3.162kg 51cm long... lolx...

My strong little baby girl...

I was confined on bed for 2 days due to the operation... and the best is, NO FOOD & DRINKS!!

on the 3rd day when i first got out of bed... i puked like mad... the puking is madness... initially i tot its the side effect of epi, but according to the doc its because i lied on bed for too long without movement thats y i will puke the moment i got down from bed...

Discharged on the 4th day together with Princess... lucky she has no signs of jaundice... we can go home together!!

It marks the start of Little Lam Family!!!!

Im On Maternity Leave

2011-08-02T14:54:00.002+08:00

Hello All!!!

im officially on Maternity Leave and this is already the 3rd week.. lolx... Wondering why it took me so long to post an entry when im suppose to be the most 'ENG' person... lolx.. laziness is the thg lor... wat else can it be right...

I am already on my 39 weeks of pregnancy and bb is gonna arrive within these few days...

So Damn excited abt it but at the same time i am kinda worried too cos according to the gynae my little baby is not really that little... lolx...

It simply means that my baby is kinda huge... as per last week her estimated weight is at least 3.5kg... hmmmp..... i just wonder how am i gonna push her out...

Recently whats running through my mind is whether i shld still continue with the plan of natural birth or i shld change to c-sect.. cos i fear that fact that i will have to go through emergency c-sect... the thought of it is enough to kill me...

My tummy now is damn huge and baby's movement is getting more and more, stronger and stronger.. it is literally like an earthquake in ur tummy... u can see the tummy surface moving and shifting... lolx... jus like mother earth shifting the earth plates that cause earthquakes.. lolx...

okie update of my activities for the past few weeks...

1st week of leave is boring... i am stuck at home except friday which i get to go out the whole day with Chelle for shopping... The mummies head out to get baby stuff... lolx... didnt really buy much though cos was really unsure what to get...

2nd week is better... almost whole week occupied... cos i keep running home.. lolx.. went out shopping on wed and friday with 2 mummies seperately.... shopping for baby stuff again...

it seems like i only know and only wants to buy baby stuff recently... hmmm... mother nature acting on me again??? lolx

This week is okie so far... had a great day out with Alodie although i spent quite abit... Time out with family and own sibling is still the best la... nuttin beats it...

Oh ya oh ya... Mummy Angela needs a new wallet... yet to source for a nice one.... hmmm... gonna make Daddy Lam buy as a 'Push' Present... lolx...

Now thgs for baby are all prepared, jus waiting for the arrival of the little one...

when will that day be???

*Sneak Preview to her decorated cot... lolx*

Updates!!

2011-06-17T21:00:00.002+08:00

Had been so long since i last blogged... lolx...

cos my work is no long as free as before.. but soon i will be back to my eng eng lifestyle as im starting my maternity leave in mid july....

Completed 1 event with TEC for the past 2 weeks and next week is my 2nd event... after that will be closing report n stuff and i am done...

Appraisal scheduled on the 29th June, Good Luck Angela, hopefully i can secure the job and my paid leave to accompany my dearest princess at home..

Liz is already at her 32 weeks le... tt means 8 mths... very soon she will be out saying 'HI' to all... haha... cant wait for that day...

I had moved back to chai chee for the pass 2 weeks!! WeEeEeeEeeE!!!

Honestly i dunno how to describe that feeling, i can only say... I FEEL WONDERFUL!!

and honestly i thk i shld frequest back home... haha... will blog abt this one day...

Hmm... good thgs dun last, im will be shifting home next weekend or so... haiz...

im so gonna miss home once again... how i wish i dun have to go back to hougang...

i miss everyone here everything here...

Misery of a a married women...

My Tummy at 29th Week... so can you imagine how it looks like now?? LOLx

26 Weeks Pregnant

2011-05-11T17:17:00.003+08:00

Jus a entry to scare myself.. lolx...
took pics of my tummy at 26 weeks....

XOXOXOXOXO

Im Not Really Happy

2011-05-04T15:45:00.002+08:00

Ok i did what i wanted to do recently...
That is to walk out of the house in the middle of the night to get some time alone and some air to breathe...

some things are there yet we have to act as though its invisible...
im not the kind of person tt can try to slowly forget, ill rather tackle it and solve it, talk about it..
i like dealing with things the hard way...

i left home without him realising.. tts how deep he fell into his sleep...
Reached home abt an hr later... lousy shit... wanted to go for a longer time... but my FIL in awake... dun wan him to be worried... the time alone is not enough.. but at least better than none...

i feel like moving home for a short period of time.. i kinda missing home... dunno y.. at times i jus feel tt at my current place, no one is on my side... worse is my hubbee dun even understand me... T_T to my hubbee everything is jus small issue, if i have any request he will try to give in to me as much as possible, if there is any problem between us he will try to avoid or to give in to me as much as he can... but still... to me... problem is still there... not solved... i know he is trying very hard... i'm sorry to be the cause of ur pain.. but im jus not happy...

Wish i can learn to act blind to alot of issues.. hmmm... is this life?? or shld i ask is this married life???

Long Weekend Update!!!

2011-05-04T15:28:00.002+08:00

This long weekend of Labour Day is relatively good... almost everyday is fully made use of...
Precious time spent with Hubbee, walking ard, shopping, plan for our home renovation etc...
hmmm... quite proud of ourselve...

Spent a little over the weekend...
Hubbee finally got me my LONG BELATED Birthday Present... lolx..
but in return i got him something also... cos i remember owing him a present for last yr christmas... lolx... SUPER LONG OVERDUE!! lolx..

haha... his carrier is soOOo small compared to mine... =p size doesnt matter... its the item inside that matters...

Welcome my New Love home!!! my Speedy.... and hubbee's card holder... hee...

Unstable Mind & Emotions

2011-04-28T15:44:00.002+08:00

I dunno if all or even most of the pregnant women feels it but i feel rather unstable mentally...
not bcos of the baby or anythg thats related but more of personal kind of feeling..

i am getting a little more sensitive that usual,
a little more emotional than usual,
a little more petty than usual,
a little more particular than usual...

hmmmm... i know this isnt good but for some reasons it jus became part of me and its something that i cant control.

Very often i feel like tearing and i feel like just being alone...

recently im starting to feel the strain between my relationship with Wilx...
i dunno what is the main cause of it.. but alot of times we dun see eye to eye to issues and we will start our arguement and eventually leads to him being mad and me crying...
it had been kinda hurtful and to a certain extend tt i even though of running away..

one of the night last week, i even thought of running away frm home... cos i wanna be alone and i dun wanna see him or hear him... i dunno y... the arguement is not a very big issue but i just feel hurt...

It seems like its harder to understand him.. i dunno what he wants and wat is he thking abt...
alot of thgs tt need his attention he simply ignores... and for thgs tt is not the main concern, he is so into it.. just like how i always complain, he cares for his liverpool and the matches more than me lor... haiz...

its less than 3 mths away frm the arrival of Liz and there are still tonnes of thgs not done... Oh My!! how i wish i can do it on his behalf... than thgs might expedite a little...

his asthma is getting frm bad to worse... jus hope that he recover faster and all these nonsense will stop ba...

Update on Princess Liz

2011-04-26T16:55:00.005+08:00

Liz's Mummy is now officially 25 weeks 1 Day Pregnant..
Liz is more n more active and gettin more and more obvious...
kinda like obstructing and restricting what her mummy wears...

Watched a documentary on Baby in womb that explains the different stages of growth and changes that occur in the womb...
By now Liz shld b able to hear me clearly as she is in my tummy ar and she will also hear male voices better as compared to female...
this is due to the frequency of male's voice.. i thk bcos their tone is much lower than female...
Nvm as long as she can hear me im more than happy...

Her senses are building up.. by now she can already feel out touches, hear us, and even taste what im eating... how amazing right... hmmm... gonna go back and finish the show by tonight...

Preview of my growing tummy... my tummy is still relatively small compared to others at the same stage... i guess its bcos my baby is a princess ba... at this stage i can already feel her weight, as in the weight of my tummy and my legs (esp knee) back is alr aching and givin me prob sleepin in the night...
Went to the baby fair last sunday... haha... greedy mummy got some freebies from the fair.. These arent jus free gifts okie.. we paid more than 2k before we get these stuff... lolx
We signed up for the StemCord for Liz... that means they will be collecting her cord blood the moment she is born... hmmm... this cost us a bomb... but both me n wilx feel tt we shld do this for her at least it acts as a backup plan when help is needed..

The thg that touches me the most is, regardless how tight our financial situation is, Wilx is always very supportive when providing for Liz. Initially i only want to sign up for the 1 yr plan jus in case at birth there might b emergency need and we might not be able to afford to continue supporting the Cord blood to be kept longer.. then once Liz stablize after 1 or 2 yrs we can stop the plan. But Wilx signed up for the 5 yrs plan straight without second thought and on the way home he even told me that he intend to keep it as long as he could. Until the day when we transfer the ownership back to Liz when she turns 21. It can be a gift for her future and who knows this gift might safe Liz, Me, Wilx or even our next kid in future... Awwww~~~

We got some Blankets, Sweddle, rompers and socks for Liz at the fair too... and guess what, we bought the size for 3-6mths instead of 0 - 3mths cos Wilx said that "What makes you think our baby will be that small to fit into 0-3mths clothings" lolx... honestly true la... those 0-3 mths clothes are so small tt i thk any baby wearing will make it look very tight fitting.. lolx

Gonna buy more stuff... looking at the shopping list im so gonna faint...
Gonna be broke real soon buying all these stuff...

My Not so Happy 26th Birthday!!!

2011-04-25T16:12:00.002+08:00

hmm.. decided not to post any pics for this entry cos afterall like wat i indicated on the title...
Its my NOT so HappY 26th Birthday...

For this birthday my Dream Birthday Didnt come true...
my Dream time spent wif my Hubbee didnt come true....
My dream Birthday Present didnt appear...
My Dream Roses didnt appear...
My dream Splendid Day Out didnt happened...
So what can i say or what i should say...

hmmm... not angry abt it cos Hubbee is sick..
but jus cant help feelin a little disappointed ba...
He made an effort to accompany for breakfast at DOME & High Tea @ Goodwood Park
so i guess i shld be contented and not complain further ba...

A dream i guess is still better off as a Dream...

Happy Belated Birthday Angela!!
Be Happy!!!

Random

2011-04-13T16:20:00.003+08:00

I'm Just a Big Fat Woman who Munches NON-STOP!!! *Mum Mum MuM*

Peek-a-boooo

2011-04-07T17:50:00.003+08:00

A Peek to my Princess's Side profile... haha... Got the 3D scan during my checkup on tues... cant help but keep looking at my little princess.. she never fail to bring the smile on me... lolx... Sharing with you guys my joy and excitmemt... *Irritated, blogspot dun allow me to rotate... irritating!!!

After so many yrs!!

2011-04-01T16:43:00.003+08:00

Just came across this comment that needs my approval and im shocked...

Its written as "I'm grateful and appreciates what you had done for me all these years, i understood that being my other half wasnt easy and had changed me in some way and thankful wasnt good enough to describe though i always dun express myself in speech but all is kept well deep in my heart. " By E on 8/4/2008 Its had been almost 3 yrs... and only till today then i saw this msg from him. i'm dumbfounded.. I dunno what i should say or what i can say now.. Thanks, I know who you are and deep from my heart i wish u all the best and thanks =)

Pregnant @ 21st Week & Introducing Princess Liz

2011-03-29T16:56:00.002+08:00

This is my 21 week 2 days being Pregnant and finally my baby decided to show herself.. Yes, Its a baby ger... Our Princess... Her Daddy had confirmed her name as Liz, so she shall be our Princess Liz!!! This name is selected among the list of the 1 syllable names... Other options are like Val, Wynn ("wind") lolx... all sorts of furnie names... Chosen One! Liz Lam!!! lolx... Wilx is super happy to know tt its a ger cos he loves baby gers... but for me, actually i prefer a boy cos Wilx is the Only Son, Only Grandson, so if its a boy at least ill have peace from his granny.. but then, Princess are more lovely... so since decided that Its Princess Liz, We shall love her and await patiently for the arrival of our gift...

Tummy is starting to grow bigger n bigger, more clothes out of the wardrobe and more new clothes going in!! lolx.. i am growing out of my clothes le.. haha...

the above pic is taken by wilx, he claims tt he likes the pic.. lolx Taken on my own.. wanna capture the growth of my tummy.. lolx...

After the checkup at Paragon we went to get our 1st buy for Princess Liz... Her Milk Bottle Sterallizer & Warmer... Its on OFFER and its a great deal... its the 3rd time we went there and finally to get it... Did some survey on price and this load of stuff cost us $188 which is cheaper then getting it elsewhere...

Gt it at Taka with GREAT effort cos we decide to go on the last day of fair which we tot is 28 Mar 2011, and guess what, when we reach there, they are tearing down. the fair ended on the 27th instead... Faintz... lucky we went up to the bb department and found the last set there... haha... So happy... Well Done Uncle Lam & Auntie Tan!!!

Baby Shower Gift

2011-03-25T15:08:00.002+08:00

Received a box of baby shower chocolate from my colleague Harry!!
It from Gobi... So CuteeEeEEeee...

www.gobi.com.sg

Congrates Harry, wishing your baby girl Happy 1mth may she be healthy and pretty all the time..

Life as a Pregnant Woman

2011-03-25T13:54:00.003+08:00

Am 20 weeks 4 Days Pregnant...
Baby is starting to grow and show himself/herself inside my tummy...

Life as a pregnant woman is kinda boring.. besides eating and sleeping nuttin seems to be my main concern now..
Cravings seem to have came back since it stopped few weeks back and now i will tend to wake up in the middle of the night feeling hungry and searching for food...
OMG!! gonna control b4 i put on too much weight...
Hubby had been mad with me for waking up hunting for food.. haha... but no choice...

Giddiness attacked me these 2 weeks.. on and off ... the feeling is bad...
Mum is worried cos she is afraid tt my low blood sugar might affect the baby... but according to doc, everythg is ok and its fine... =)
Found some new loves recently... but cant overdose on all these...
Royce Chocolate... The only one that is non-alcoholic... haha

Chili stingray, from Bedok south market... My FAVOURITE la!!! since im a teenager i had been loving it...

Seaweed... this is a new love... and freaking hooked to it... i can finish 1 whole pack in a few hrs... keep munching non stop... lolx...

Dressing up is now my new pain... i'm growing out of most of my clothes... so seems that i have to replenish the no of stuff in my new wardrobe.. hehe... Bought 2 new Maxi dresses at a Offer Price... Weeee...

Love maxi dresses... this is the love that shld b able to stay wif me throughout my pregnancy.. haha...

Lucky me... hubby just called saying that he will pick me up frm wrk n send me to meet the gers later... WeeeeeEEEE... *happy*

What a day!!

2011-03-24T15:56:00.002+08:00

I had decided not to post new pics of my baby after several attempts to upload the pic in the direction i wan it to be.. Stupid...

Okay... Topic for the day will be how will you feel working in a company for months with nothing on your plate for you to do...
Put it in simple will be, you are paid to come in at 9am, sit in front of your lappy act busy (by doing nothing and suppose to avoid to much of facebooking and msn) Lunch at 12pm, 1pm continue to act, leave at 6pm OTD!! you get paid on a monthly basis, fixed amount..

honestly, when u thk abt it... sounds shiok ar... but when u r in it.. u feel like killing yourself... haha... just like how i am now.. almost bored to death.. i am living a life of a pig in office, come in at 930am eat breakfast till abt 1030, tibit a little, munch a little, then lunch at 12pm, buy fruits & tibits back. 1pm sit back in front of my lappy munching fruits, abt 4 - 5 packs per day okie.. super healthy okay... 3pm start munching tibits again... 430pm head down to buy a drink or/and some light snacks like bao, lo mai kai etc... end work at 6pm SHARP!!

Anyone keen to take a job like tt or like to exchange?? lolx...
honestly, no motivation, no morale, no mood... dunno y i come work also... i guess its jus for my monthly salary ba...

i shall bear with it and reconsider after i give birth... dun wanna waste my maternity benefits...
ARGH!! i need entertainment!!

My Signs of Pregnancy

2011-03-23T15:05:00.001+08:00

Hmmm... just wanna share with you guys how i realised/suspected that im pregnant...

All women are different but i guess there will be similarity in a way or another..

I'm a Smoker, smoking had been part of me, part of my daily life..

when the day cigg is irritating you and the thought/smell/every single puff makes you feel like puking... hmmm... something is wrong...

I thought its normal cos there's spotting, i thought period came, the only thing different is that the flow is a little too little, 1st day's flow kinda like day 5/6 (mine is usually 7 days period, 6 weeks cycle)...

You are not too early to notice these signs and to find out that you are pregnant. All this symptoms hit me on the 6 weeks after my last period which is norm...

different ppl have different symptoms and signs... i'll be curious to know how i will notice/suspect the arrival of my next baby. =)

2nd Date with Our Precious!!!

2011-03-23T15:03:00.001+08:00

29 Dec 2010
Feeling: Worried
Location of Precious: Left
Size: 23mm
Stage of Pregnancy: 8.7 Weeks
This visit to Dr Chan is kind of worrying as various incidents occurred within the last 2 weeks...
Some random kids accidentally hit my tummy and cause slight bleeding, trying to control diet end up gastric, slight pain at tummy area...

so this visit my main intention is to get assurance her, telling me that my baby is ok, everything is fine... this visit was on appointment basis but the waiting time is still as disaster as the previous. we waited for almost 3 hrs before our turn... i realize im getting relatively impatient recently, i guess its due to the hormones change.

Our second touch with our baby was good, his heartbeat is faster and stronger comparing to the 1st date. He had also grown by 20mm as compared to the last. wooo... in just 2 weeks, my little precious had grown more than 5 times the size. at this rate its going, im gonna see him soon... *grinz* 8 more months....

So glad everything regarding baby is doing fine, the only things thats not doing good is the mummy, ME. Im having flu and i dare not take any medication as im unsure if its suitable for me to comsume at this point. Lucky i manage to get some flu tablets frm Dr Chan and according to her if fever occurs, its ok for me to take the normal Panadol. Shoooo~~~ at least i know what to you if fever really hits...

This visit to the gynae was fully accompanied by my hubby-to-be and We are sure of what we want and what we going to do next. (alot of things happened in the last 2 weeks. For more details can refer to Mummy Angela's own blog. )
I'm starting to feel the excitement being a mummy.

1st Date with Our Previous

2011-03-23T15:00:00.000+08:00

14 Dec 2010, 1st Visit to my Gynae at Hougang, Dr Chan
Feeling: Scary, Fear
Location of Precious: Left
Size: 4mm
Stage of Pregnancy: 6.1 Weeks
This is my first visit to the Gynae with and without my Bf/Hubby-to-be.
Why do i say with and without, i went alone and he came to join me at the later time.
Reason, need to run to a GP to get MC for his reservist in order to accompany me for this visit.

Reach the clinic at about 11am after Fion called to help me get an appointment for the visit. Dr Chan is also the Gynae that Fion visits when she is carrying Kayden.
The feeling when i first stepped into the clinic was horrible. All the women in there are all seated down wearing loose clothings with Tummies bloated like a giant balloon which might burst anytime... they look dangerous.... comparing to all of them, me as a young mum i really dunno where i stand and what i should do.

Wilx managed to reach there before its my turn. honestly the first date with our baby is odd... why is it so?
i guess its because i'm unsure of the situation at that point and unsure of whats coming up next. The only thing i am sure is that when Dr Chan ask me " Have you two decided to keep the baby?" our immediate answer is "YES"
I dunno why i said Yes although i am still unsure at that point but i guess Yes is the answer that is pleasing to everyone.

The process of the scan was okie just that its a little different comparing to visiting a GP... Baby's heartbeat wasnt really fast but it was clear enough for me and wilx to hear. and through the monitor, we can see our baby, which was only 4mm..

After the scan, Dr Chan did a calculation base on my last period to see when's the EDD of my baby.. Its 8 Aug 2011... Hopefully a National Day Baby...
Doc said that Baby is healthy just that its relatively unstable due to the bleeding. I will have to be extra careful and have to monitor any spotting tat occurs..

A little Tip from Pris who just gave birth to a lovely princess. Wear a pantyliner through your first trimester if bleeding ever occur so that any spotting can be noticed and monitored constantly. Bleeding is not a rare thing to happen during the first trimester, it happen to some pregnant women. We just have to take note that if it really occurs, monitor the situation and report to the Gynae if it worsen or prolonged for too long.

This is a delayed post, will update regarding our 2nd Date and also the various events that happened during this period of time.

Life Experience

2011-03-21T17:36:00.002+08:00

In Life different people experience different things..
what you went through will craft out your character, your thinking and You!
but this might or might not be true...

there are people who decides to believe and live the life as their experience taught them..
but some will challenge and hope to find a different way out..
there is no right or wrong...

as long as there is no regrets, you made the right choice, chose the right path...

To me i feel tt as long as i have a backup plan for myself. im safe..
i dun care if the path i chose is right or wrong, as long as i know what i am doing and how i should support myself if anything fails, i am safe..

May all my family, friends and love ones have a safe and peaceful journey in life =)

Starting the March

2011-03-14T15:30:00.002+08:00

February 2011 ending in a sweet & joyous moment for me..
But my March started of with a pain in our hearts..

March 08 2011, Popo Left the world early in the morning at 0822hrs...
received the news via phone call frm my dad..
Am shocked and stunned by the news.. dad gave alot of instructions and through the phone i can feel that he is unsure of what to do and he is on the verge of breaking down.. but lucky daddy is strong.. he can still thk and make arrangements systematically..

went to NYP to locate my sis as she is uncontactable... it took us 3 hrs to find her and get her out of sch...

we didnt go to the wake straight as im instructed to head home straight to do some preparation... have to tie a red cloth ard my tummy with an ang bao and some "shi Liu'' leaf
this is to protect my bb...

went there only in the late afternoon when most of the thgs are settled..
i was shocked when dad informed me tat he will be the one paying for the funeral...
its like "arent they contributing?? what happened to the other two???"
i came to know that the other 2 went to Popo's home empty handed and empty pocket.. When mummy approached them, they simply say "i got no $$".. OMG!! WTH!!!
its not like my daddy is rich and owns gold mines lor... my grandfather's wake yrs back the same thgs happened and now still the same shit... they are taking my dad for granted...

nvm... pay shall be it... throughout the wedding comments fly ard non stop.. asking my dad to give tips to workers, to ppl, pay money.. even a $2 pack of rice they will claim from dad.. and guess what, they claim their meals too... they tot my dad is some kinda welfare organization lor..
OMG... i dun understand how can they claim themselves to be popo's kids... the only thg the can afford to pay is ciggerattes and alcohol... WTF!!!

so insensible old ppl.. even we kids know what is right and what's wrong lor..
the most stunning act is that they can ask my dad regardin splitting of assets at the end of the funeral.. WTH WTF!!! Popo had been in the home for almost 10yrs with no savings and all funeral expenses is frm dad, now they asking abt assets...

I dun understand what are they thking at that point, arent they ashame of their own behaviour..
sickening human beings.. ugly human beings...

now everythg is over, just hope that popo will R.I.P and bring better luck & Health to daddy and mummy...

Wedding Pics...

2011-02-18T14:20:00.003+08:00

Finally Done with editing of my wedding Pics.. haha...
Simply hate those done by the Bridal Shop. So i decide to do it on my own.. lol..

After seein what i had done for myself.. i feel so much better..

Loves~~~

Amazing Relationship Betweeen Sisters

2011-01-17T13:26:00.002+08:00

Im just so proud of the good relationship between me and my dearest sister Alodie today...She is the ger that made me feel so wonderful about family kinship suddenly.She grow up and she learnt how to express herself..

We went shopping yesterday with wilx and we had a great time being together..and guess what, when she's home she posted this entry on her facebook

Suddenly i missed her so much... the images of the time we spent together since young keep flashing in my mind.. i cant bear to leave her alone... how i wish i can bring her along with me..

Since young we shared this amazing relationship.. we have no one by our side at times, just me and her... she is the closest to me and im the closest to her...

We didnt stay with our parents since young, so back at ah ma's place, im her only direct family member, in all situation, we will support each other and talk to each other... and if there is a need, we fight as 1 too.. all siblings are close to one another no doubt, but the relationship that me and alodie shared is a little different, our childhood days are kinda tough, that is why we are so closely bonded together.

I can fully understand how she feel now, cos at a certain point i have the same worry too.. if i have something that i need to talk to someone, i dun have anyone by my side anymore... its harder to find time to spend with my sister alone.. as i was thinking about these tears keep rolling down my cheeks.. and guess what someone is laughing at me.. its no one other than my hubby...

he promised that if ever possible he will make room for my sister to come and stay with us and whenever possible, he will let me stay at yi ma place so that i can spend time with my own family and i can talk to my sis like how we use to... ill make full use of it...

Suddenly i miss those days sharing the same room with my sis and chatting through the night...
I wrote an entry in my fb as a promise to my little sister, Alodie...

Dear Alodie,
Nothing will change even if i am married with kids and have my own family...
You are always my family, my sister, my love one...

Working Woman

2011-01-13T16:35:00.002+08:00

Oh My Oh My...
Just started my new job on monday 10 Jan 2011...
New place, near to Wilx place and also to CC.. its a in between...

Previous jobscope, back to doing what i had been doing in AP Comm..
Registration & Database...
hmmm... So far So good.. not much work, in fact, not doing anything at all..
lolx

No proj, no event = no work
whole day 9am - 6pm sitting in front of my lappie on fb, msn, browsing through my hd... how interesting..

Good and bad i guess at this point, i can rest by sitting down not moving and get paid...
the only bad thg is that it can get real boring and cant slp and take nap like what i use to do...
argh... what to do...

for the income, for the family... this is what i have to do and what i should do...
next week goin BKK... Weee~~~~
So looking forward... jus hope that it will be a safe and nice trip...

hmm.... ok last thg on my mind.. im feeling guilty...
for.....
Throwing my temper at Mr Lam...
Just cant help, at times just cant control but to throw my temper at him..
i also dunno y but i have the tendency to do that to him...
so far he had been bearing with it which made me feel guilty...
haiz... i must learn to control...

Wedding Updates!!!

2011-01-05T00:36:00.002+08:00

Finally wedding preparations firming up...

Wedding bands altered and collected, now safely kept at home..

wedding photos taken and now pending for photo selection...

Sneak Preview below:

5 Suits in all for photo taking, 3 for indoor and 2 for outdoor..

both of us are so lazy when coming to pick a venue for photo taking so we leave the venue to the photographer to choose.

So we went to Hort Park & MBS Bridge...

Now excitedly waiting for the pics to be out!!!

Mix Feelings

2010-12-27T02:49:00.002+08:00

Wedding Updates...

Date: 27 Feb 2011 (Confirmed)

Venue: Swissotel Merchant Court (Confirmed)

Bridal Shop & Shoot (Confirmed)

Wedding Band (Purchased)

Seems that the big items for the wedding had already been confirmed now left with the misc items to follow up with... haiz... seems easy ar..

haha... not at all...

i'm having alot of headaches making arrangements with my parents and also hearing alot of funny stuff from wilx parents... haiz

i guess this is part and parcel of wedding planning, part and parcel of life...

why i put the title as mixed feeling?

i thought all brides should be excited about the big day about all the upcoming customaries to be completed and follow up??

No im not at all.. i dun feel excited, in fact im getting worried as the day draws nearer...

i was sitting on my way trying to slp 1/2 hr ago and alot of memories start flowing through my mind... the memories i had with this family of mine, all my family members, my dog and every part of the hse of my room... all sorts of memories starts flooding my mind...

suddenly i have the urge to cry... cant imagine i'm gonna move out from this family into another family and create a new family of my own... its exciting but i'm so gonna miss my current family who had showered me with love and care for the last 25yrs... the thought of leaving them is really hurtful... i'm so gonna miss them, miss my home, miss everyone everything in this current home of mine...

i know this is a part that everyone have to go through and will go through as they grow up and move to another stage in life.... but i jus cant bear to leave them...

Hope that after marriage, after i have my own kid, wilson will allow me to come back often and at times have a short stay here... Hope he can understand that this is the place i love the most and supports me the most....

I Sincerely hope so....

New Stage in Life

2010-12-16T10:59:00.002+08:00

Had been a long long time since i last blogged...
what had i been busy with? lolx
dating with my bf cum husband...

alot of things had changed during this period of time...

i got myself a new job and i am out of job again,
then i got myself another job and now i'm jobless again,
my bf proposed and planned to get married in 2-3yrs time,
almost 2 mths later we have to push forward everything....

the latest date for the wedding will have to be in march and hopefully can do it by end feb...
alot of things ahead for me and alot of things for me to work on...

once again i'm at the stage of dunno whats next

*Confused*

My heart is getting weaker...

2010-06-06T23:29:00.003+08:00

Oh my oh my...
getting breathless...

it seems that i am stuck once again...
life is too complicating... too many paths, too many options...
too much wants, too much needs...

i always thought that i know what i wanted and what i need...
i always feel that i am in control and i know the path...
but guess what... i am starting to have doubts already...

Doubts in my thinking, my path, my goals and even my needs...

shitty feeling... i am lost once again...
seems that life and god had forgotten about me...
they leave me roaming ard for the last 2 yrs...

i need to find a way quick to get my life and momentemn back...
I need to find ANGELA TAN JIA HUI!!!

Too Much Stuff, Too Little Time

2010-06-02T21:11:00.002+08:00

Recently i keep feeling OLD~
The Quarter Centry Crisis...

I had been asking myself y i have so much to do yet i do not have the time??
Am i getting slow??
Am i getting LAzy??
Or what??

I dun seem to be able to get to the core of the issue...

I guess my current jobs are not giving me the drive and motivations ba...
is it bcos of the job scope??
or simply smthg is missing somehow??

Day by Day pass by filled with nothing very special except work, canversing, work, appointments...
Is this a normal Life for a woman at 25??

OMG!! Starting to feel so old now... no longer have the energy like before and the drive and motivation is missing...

I use to have the ability to slp for less than 4 hrs daily and can still work like a bull the next day.. NOW i need at least 7 hrs of slp a day... and i might still be feeling tired...

ITs the mentality i guess... i have to slowly overcome this irritating situation and get my ass out to really fight for the money that i wan, the future that i wan, the life that i wan...

Must Constantly remind myself that nothing can stop me and i am the main focus and i am also the biggest problem... once i slove the biggest problem, nuttin can be too tough for me to handle, no problem cant be solved...

Yes Angela, keep that in mind... Always move and Dont stop...
Jia You!!!

Fatness in ME!!!

2010-06-02T18:28:00.002+08:00

If my gers didnt remind me that i have a blog, i guess i would have totally forgotten about it... So Sorry Bloggy...

hasnt been uploading a single thg for quite a few mths and i guess my own laziness is the thg that cause it.. OMG!! guess i have to be more hardworking and blog as often as i can...

Had been puttin on weight kg after kg non stop..
i need a remedy on this...
if any of u have any way to solve this prob do let me know ya...

Love ya bloggy

KL KL KL!!

2010-02-18T00:23:00.003+08:00

Jus came back from KL early this month...
went to attend some seminar with Wilx...
It is suppose to be some form of enriching seminar but honestly ITS BORING and NOT ENRICHING at ALL!! lolx...
2 days seminar and we only attended 1... or shld i say 3/4.. haha...
cos the last 1/4 we were at the pub drinking and listening to songs...

I can say its a blessing in disguise, cos if there isnt this seminar going on, we wouldnt have headed down to KL and i wont have such an enjoyable trip...
Thanks Bee....
I am Missing the Canto Live Band, The Food, The Shopping!!
OMG!!!
i am now thking of heading there again...
Gonna be a jiu hu kia alr... lol... no good...

Its fun to be exploring places without planning... but main thing is i feel safe with him around..
without him i guess i wont be enjoying as much...

we went to places we been before we were together... alot of memories...

Thanks Bee for the trip... Huggies

Tiger Year!!

2010-02-18T00:12:00.003+08:00

Had been a long long time since i last updated my blog...
OMG feel so guilty..
and now i am stuck in the situation when i have too much to blog and dunno where to start from...

I guess shall start with the more recent activities...
CNY!! the year of Tiger!!

This year more visitings and lesser gambling compared to last...
More as in besides my own relatives, went to my boss's place and also wilx's relatives place..
New experience and Nice experience...
Today is only the 4th day of CNY... guess more gatherings, dinners and gamblings coming the way...

Wishing everyone Good Health and Best of Luck in the year of TIGER!!
HUAT AR!!!

Love is all around

2009-12-21T01:26:00.003+08:00

Love is all around... in my life and in lifes of my friends and ppl ard me..

This is a month filled with weddings and celebrations...
5 in the list including my babes, sister, brother and colleague....
activity month...

already attended 2 of the weddings... 3 more coming...
more fun and excitments ahead...

Wedding Couple 1: Ivan & Jacq
Attended their ROM which was held earlier, this year they finally gone through the customaries...
so happy for my babe that day... was one of the sisters and last min was invited to be their emcee for the night...
nice and sweet wedding...

Wedding Couple 2: Nick & Sock Hoon
Also ROM earlier but wasnt there to attend... finally gone through the customary and was just a day ahead of jacq's...
Wishing the couples ever lasting love...

Love to me!!

2009-12-17T23:44:00.004+08:00

Love is:
having someone who cares
having someone who ask about your day
having someone who is prepared to lend you his listening ears at all times
having someone who is willing to go the extra mile for u
having someone who have trust and confidence in you
having someone who you can talk to and discuss issues with
having someone who of the same frequency
having someone who gives u the sense of security
having someone who plans the future with you

I feel so love when:
I know he is always there
I know he understands
I know he cares
I know he is true

The smallest things in life:
He is willing to wake up earlier than usual just to wake me up
he will make breakfast to prepare me for the long day ahead
he will make sure that i have sufficient rest
he will rather spend money on me than on himself cos he feels that i am more important
he will remind me of the stuff ahead cos he knows that i will be lost
he will make me love his family and also make his family loves me
he will plan a day together to my convenience and preference than his own
he will put in the extra effort regardless how tired he is in order to meet me for the 1 - 2 hours

I ever had this person(s) in my life previously but i lost them due to individual choices

I am glad that now god is nice enough to bring a brand new person to me whom is even better

The path ahead is never easy, and i am pretty confident that things will be better as time goes by... 3 yrs later hopefully things will be as planned

Thanks for being the special someone by my side =)

Bomb collection session

2009-11-24T23:17:00.002+08:00

bombs had been landing on me one after the other for the month of dec...
scary... seems that i need to chiong alot for my next mth's target in order to make ends meet...

weddings are the sweetest memories in life for a couple and i am sure my friends will have the nicest and sweetest weddings..
seeing couples preparing for the next stage in life is a real amazing experience...
i dunno how i shld describe this kinda feeling...
maybe i can say its fun, disaster, war-like or i shld say irritating... haha

its a form of Happy Trouble...

i am now in the midst of helpin my brother & sister from different fathers and mothers to prepare their wedding....
the whole process...

i am glad that i am part of it and in this family to be helping them out...
they are a couple that i am really proud of.. really
and sincerely from the bottom of my heart i give them all the blessings...

the route ahead isnt easy for the 2 of them but i am sure thgs will be perfectly fine for the 2 of them cos of the love and the bond they have...
the love is so strong that i am sure they can withstand all the major obstacles in ahead...

Dearest Nic and Fion, Jia You!!
we will all be by u guys throughout... no worries... love u guys... =)

Wild Wild Wet!!!

2009-11-15T13:26:00.003+08:00

Wild wild wet is a new thgy for the bunch of old kids like us...
honestly this is the very 1st time i visit this place since years back when it was opened..

amazingly the kids had fun and i had fun too!!
the rides the swim (although i cant really swim), the food, movie etc.....
its a day of healthy lifestyle and activities...

its a budget day for all of us too...

went to eat "zhu chao" after the swim...
5 dishes and drinks ONLy cost us $13.70...
on a whole, we spent ONLY $7.30 for the day...

we are the 省钱王!!!

Way Home Alone

2009-11-12T20:44:00.003+08:00

I was amazed by the fact that i did not cab home on tuesday night...
met the gers for a late dinner and some form of discussion...
everythg ended at abt 1115pm in the night...

the thg that hit my mind is that " I wanna Take a BUS home!!"
according to angie's theory, if i am alone and its night, i will simply raise my hand and flag for a cab home...

but for tt particular night, i did not...

i came to reaslie that it had been countless years since i last took a bus home at that hr...
life of a single lady ba...

i had my mp3 on playing emo chinese songs that are love of my life, reading my book as the bus goes on and on...
reached interchange at abt 12am...

dunno y i choose to walk home alone in the middle of the night instead of grabbin a bus ride..
its a nice and slow walk...

the last song that was on the playlist b4 i step into the house is by Jolin..

孤单的人总说无所谓

我的心真得累了
难道你一点也看不见
解释再多也不能改变
感情不能靠我一个人挽回

开始学着不要人陪
假装孤单也是一种美
大街上的情人双双对对
让我看得心越来越碎

孤单的人总说无所谓
其实心里一直在下雪
总是希望有个人
能够敞开我心扉
让我在他怀里找到安慰
孤单的人总说无所谓
一直独自整理所有伤悲
掩饰心中的感觉
强忍眼角的泪水
聚聚散散不愿说后悔

孤单的人总说无所谓
其实心里不停在下雪
只能希望有个人
试著敞开我心扉
让我在他怀里找到安慰
孤单的人总说无所谓
还是独自整理所有伤悲
掩饰心中的感觉
强忍眼角的泪水
聚聚散散不愿说后悔
埋藏心中的感觉
擦干眼角的泪水
聚聚散散
不愿说后悔

it comes to a point when i am starting to feel the lyrics in the song...
hmmmmmm

Halloween 2009!!

2009-11-03T02:25:00.007+08:00

I had a wonderful Halloween thanks to my brothers and sisters from different fathers & mothers..

the whole celebration was planned very last min and in a rush as usual due to our indecisiveness and rubber timings...
but still it was absolute fun and interesting....
fabulous night with superb ppl ard...

this year i finally managed to dress as a geisha... fulfilling it since 2 yrs back..
this is not wat i actually wanted as in the make up... but after playin with the makeups and stuff... this is the easiest to do le... still alot of room for improvement... but i like it...
alot of my friends who were at st james cant recognise me due to the make up...
great... at least i wont feel so embarrassed the next time i see them... haha
still can maintain my image a little la...
the 9 of us are mainly dressed up...
we have vampires, doctor, nurse, maid and even victims...
the place is so freaking packed that junna and pris cant even get in when they are both dressed
up... so disappointing..
it took us a good 45 mins to get ourselves in lor... haiz... they shld have priviledge queue for those dressed up.... cos after queueing, make up all drop le lor
Aziz made me took part in the best dressed competition... its a real crazy experience...
standing in front of the whole PH and waiting for applause as the gudgement...

like wat the guys say.. be sporting and play along la... no harm... and no one can recognise me afterall..
went to boiler for the over st james competition... crazy thg... saw raymond and pals there...
i guess they were very shocked to see me on stage ba....
sad fact didnt win the 1st prize as its tix to HK to and Fro!! but at least i didnt leave the place empty handed... i gt the 3rd... haha... giving me some prizes afterall...
its a superb and crazy nighht ending with the ghosts having breakfast at macdonals...
although in between was kinda pissed off by some ppl but still my brothers & sisters of different fathers & mothers are wonderful...

Thanks alot guys n gers!!

last but nt least, a pic to laugh at... stole this mask to take a pic frm a random ppl at PH!!

Zoo Zoo Zoo!!!

2009-10-30T00:40:00.004+08:00

N.O.S.S had a wonderful Sunday last weekend...
The lot of us went to the Zoo!!
Thanks a million for Janice for getting us the tix to visit the Zoo...
Had been ages since the last bunch this grp of old kids went to the Zoo...
Amazingly all of us made it there cos initially we are expecting some of them to back out last min.. so sweet that the whole of N.O.S.S made it for the outing...
and i should say this is one of the earliest outings that we have...
Usually N.O.S.S wont be out until 3pm.. this time round we were there at abt 1pm although the initial gathering time is stated as 12pm...
Zoo is a different place for night Owls like us...
and N.O.S.S really revealed all our kids ability... Every Single statue can be posed with and have loads of fun... running ard.. making a fool of ourselves...
and best is feeding the animals when we are not supposed to...

Angie really had alot of fun... a relax Sunday for the challenging month...
After the Zoo, we head to Demsy for our N.O.S.S AGM planning the upcoming activities like Halloween, Our Trips and Wild Wild Wet Day!!

So looking forward to the programs we planned... although i am expecting some of them to backout from the activities but still the majority of us will still go ahead....
Fun Awaiting For Me and for N.O.S.S

Bad Week

2009-10-29T00:55:00.001+08:00

This is a terrible week for me...
Bad start with appointments being cancelled and postponed one after another...
cant find my precious client...
haiz...

so so worried...
what am i gonna do..
its a real important client to me... in work and personal....

Hope he will get back to me soon...

My Birth Date tell abt me

2009-10-25T03:38:00.001+08:00

You are smart, a straight talker, funny, stubborn, hardworking, honest, jealous on a competitive basis, kind hearted, temperamental, friendly, and popular.

You always want to be on the top and most likely to be independent.

You are most likely to fall in love at a young age, but will marry once you mature!

You are likely to have problems with people who have opposite views and you are most likely to take revenge over your enemies on a long time basis.

You are a spender, but you will have a good profession in the future.

If you are guy you will be very popular. You can go anywhere from the local shop to the heart of the parliament because you are positive and talented in numerous areas.

But in your life you will always have some people who will work hard to bring you & your name down. Because of your intelligence, some might hate you. You are a pioneer, independent & original

Feljiejie's ROM

2009-10-17T18:38:00.003+08:00

This is a long long overdued entry...
so sorry...

This is the 1st ROM that i attended that is held in a club.. haha
At Mono Dragonfly... amazing
There wasnt a real crowd as only the closest lot of ppl were invited... so glad to be there...
It really sweet to see couple aft couple getting married...
Feljiejie is so sweet that she prepared mini tiaras for all of us...
make me feel like a little princess for the night...
at least make up to my lonely feelin... =)
she also celebrated her bday on the same day... double celebration..
a real good day to be remembered for life...

From my heart i wish her and kenneth all the best in their marriage life...
长长久久!!!

Todd Rundgren - It Wouldn't Have Made Any Difference

2009-10-13T21:46:00.000+08:00

Do you remember the last time I said
If I ever thought about lying,
I'd rather think of dying instead
And maybe you remember the last time you called me
to say we were through
How it took a million tears
just to prove they all were for you
But those days are through

'Cause it wouldn't have made any difference,
if you loved me
How could you love me
When it wouldn't really make any difference,
if you really loved me
You just didn't love me

'Cause I know of hundreds of times I could be
In the most unfaithful arms that you always picture me
And maybe you remember that
though I can't always show proof I was true
No one else could change my mind or
stop me coming home to you
But those days are through

You just did not love me enough to believe me
Enough not to leave me
Enough not to look for a reason to be unhappy with me
And make me regret ever wanting you
But those days are through

Gonna "绝章" soon... Disappointment

2009-10-06T00:05:00.002+08:00

This theory comes frm Mr Lam..
Relating every situation in life to Mahjong...
guess i am facin the similar situation as he does...

for my case its the situation where u threw out the first tile given to u having the feeling that u might or might not need it... can make do w/o it as long as u can win the game..

then the next moment the 2nd of the same tile came... then i start to feel a little of the pain...
"Haiz, should have kept it, wasted" and u threw the tile out again... praying hard tt u dun get the 3rd one again...

shit happens... the 3rd of the same tile came... thats when regret hits... it is also when u start to loose focus and doubt if u had done it correctly right from the start.
"Sianz, wrong move wrong move" at this moment all u pray for is that the 4th tile will jus simply vanish in the air... Any tile will do as long as its not that particular tile...

i made the wrong moves from the start due to lack of confidence and trust...
and when i start to pick myself up and know what i really wanted, i realised that i am left with not much choices and chance... starting to feel demoralized and tired of the game...

ever since the beginning of sept, i had been planting hopes on a few individuals..
maeb karma hit me, nuttin is working out...
even the most recent out that i feel that is the most suitable one is making me feel disheartened...

i started to doubt if the prob really lies in me or with the other party..
or maybe its a sign for me to give up and jus focus on work...
i dunno...
it had reached the stage where nuttin is too disappointing for me to bear...
sad fact...

i am once again reminded to "SHUT" my doors... =(

"What's your biggest weakness?"

2009-10-05T22:29:00.000+08:00

Did this quiz on fb... hmmmm...

SOUL!!

You are intelligent and you think about life and philosophy and WHY to everything. A lot. But you are missing passion. You like to do creative things, but they o...ften lack the soul behind it. You can make people laugh and beat your friends in an IQ test, but when it comes to living life to the fullest you are lost, even though you think you aren't. You think you are right, but underneath of it all you are confused. You are only guided by your mind which often leads you astray, but your soul rarely reflects in your life. You like to work hard for things and you think you deserve them, but you sometimes wonder why you are where you are. You need direction for your persistent and determined personality, but you aren't sure where to get it. .

Down Moment

2009-10-02T02:51:00.003+08:00

Having a bad headache and couldnt get to sleep at all...
its already 3am in the morning yet theres so much stuff in my mind tt gives me nuttin but headache...

i tried wat i can for sep and yet i still lost...
freaking demoralized...
it makes me feel that regardless how i try thgs are still the same...

luck hasnt been on my side for the longest period of time...
i need it badly...
regardless of work or personal life... i am jus lack of that little luck...

i am tired...
i jus wanna go through all these smoothly...

海鸣威 - 你的承诺

2009-09-29T01:51:00.003+08:00

乌云遮蔽了天空
窗外又是阴雨时候
伞下的恋人中
不再有你我手牵手
一切过了太久

我们的十字路口
下一站是谁在等候
你我的方向盘却向着
相反的彼岸
终点还是分开

告别你我离开之后
这回忆可以保留
当初那美好的感动
你说你记住了
不为彼此难过
过各自的生活

oh baby~
你答应我的我都记得
但是你却忘了你的承诺
不是说好彼此都不再联络
谁都别再犯错

是我的固执让你难过
但是分手却也无法选择
我走了以后
你要好好生活
不要想我也别再哭了
不要想我也别再~

Thanks

2009-09-27T10:49:00.003+08:00

Received a long and nice declaration sms from a close friend of mine early in the morning...
am really touched to see such a msg but i really have to apologise to you....

in my heart i really wanna maintain the relationship between us as how it is now...
i dun wan to ruin anything between all of us...

sincerely i wish you all the best in your future..
and hope that you can find your angel very soon...
all the best in your career and in your life...

Friends forever =)

Maze

2009-09-26T06:01:00.003+08:00

not sure if i set the title correctly...
what i really wanna say is life is like a maze...
at times when u feel that the path is right and u are sure of ur route,
the next moment u might start havin doubts and eventually lost without knowing what is the right step...

especially when there are choices and mystery boxes in place along the way...
u will tend to hestitae if u should follow ir heart or ur mind...

i have a few choices now... yet i refuse to take any....
i chose the toughest route once again... that is to find someone who is way out of the picture...
cos my mind tells me that i shouldnt... i cant afford to ruin the friendship..
so the best way out is to choose another person who is not in the picture at all at the moment...

i set my mind and heart on a few randoms...
but so far not much positive situations..
am i really that bad??

i am getting tired...
really need someone whom i can depend on...

My Love is HOME!!

2009-09-23T13:02:00.000+08:00

Wanna say big Thank You to Benny & Wilson for getting my Boyfriend for me...
Stitch is my love and thank you guys for getting the toy for me.. Thanks so much...
Its like my Dream come through...
SOOoOoOOoOoo In Love with Mr Stitch!! WoOOoOHOOOoo

Human emotions

2009-09-21T16:32:00.002+08:00

The power of human emotions can be real amazing...
it has the ability to create significant changes in ones' life....
its only if one have the ability to overcome and take control of it else might cause situations which u will never expect...

after these while going through the breakup and picking myself up,
i sensed the changed in me myself and i had also seen changes in people around me who had gone through different situations...
some manage to conqure the emotions and live their life as per normal without significant changes but some had got themselves into trouble or obstacles in life that might lead them to a different path in future...

emotions i refer to indicates feelings like depressed, jealousy, happiness etc..
i believe all these emotions and feelings affect individual in a way or another...
no one can be spared from it completely... its just the matter of time and situation for you to take notice of the change...

hmmm.. the power of emotions should never be underestimated...
cos once the effect takes place, the route to salvage it is never easy...

Wanna Be In Love Again

2009-09-16T02:30:00.004+08:00

have this stupid feeling since 090909 bcos of Pris's wedding...
silly right... but had been fluctuating between wanting to and not wanting to...
regardless of what i still feel that i prefer to be attached than to be single...
silly mindset...

did a quiz of facebook你在異性眼中的魅力有多少？
and my result is a amazing 95%... haha
魅力指數95%。自信是你的最大魅力，非常有風度，從不斤斤計較。你的魅力自然散發，沒有任何的虛偽與做作，讓異性不自覺地想要接近你，但又害怕遭到你的拒絕。你外在的氣質、裝束永遠像一束明亮的光，吸引著異性的視線。

dunno y i had never realise the presence of the 95%... hmmm
but in fact i do not need the 95%...
all i want is the one and only guy i like to be attracted to me and love me...
that matters the most and its the most important thg right??

the route to true love seem so tough compared to before...
getting harder and harder...
is this due to my expectations in life??

Priscilla & Eric's Big Day!!

2009-09-16T00:18:00.003+08:00

Its a very meaningful day for both eric and priscilla.. and also the lot of us...
once again i felt "LOVE IS IN THE AIR"
after so long....

090909 - 09 sep 09
such a meaningful date... once in the lifetime...
specially dedicated to this couple... my gf and her husband...
congrates to u babe...

its a long day for all of us.. was so excited the night before and as busy preparing the stuff to sabotage eric during the gate crash, didnt slp until abt 3am and i woke up at 5am the next morning...

the sisters arrived at the bride's place at 7.30am in the morning...
preparing for the gate crash and also helpin the bride wif her packing and stuff...
its the togetherness feeling... haha...
we werent really mean to the brothers... only some small games and the usual 酸甜苦辣...
酸甜苦辣 was prepared by Junna and Rina... super well done... =p
but sad fact we met wif lousy brothers... they bullied us all the way and play cheat... didnt really finish everything.. but its ok cos its jus a form of formalities... so we didnt really force them to...

i made eric and his brothers do a dance at the grass field downstairs the block... he is cool man... really fulfilled it...

wedding is really a major headache... alot of formalities and customs to follow... tedious...
the whole morning ended at abt 11am at the bride's place again..

all of us head back for a short rest before goin back to the hotel to prepare for the night...

Solemnization started at 6pm in the evening, we were there at 430pm preparing...
busy setting my hair --> stylist ms Junna Seah
*Finally i saw my curls again... i'm loving it*

every time when i attend a ROM or wedding, i will feel very touched and want to cry..
esp when i know the bride or groom for a long time...
really felt happy for them cos having the courage to step into a relationship, finding the right one and goin towards the other stage in life is never easy... and not everyone is so lucky...

Solemnization ended at about 630pm, afterwhich me and Kyle rushed over to the ballroom for our rehearsal... surprise surprise, i am the emcee for the night... chinese wor... hahaa...
it isnt that tough afterall as the script is already prepared for us, jus that have to get use to the few irritating words that had been put together as a sentence...
during the dinner, the played a video of the process from the met till their marriage...
its cartoon... real interesting... i am sure gonna do it if i am to get married one day... =p
the night was busy for me but fun and

this couple made me feel the love again...
really wish u 2 all 白头谐老，永结同心，早生贵子
baby

feel like being in love once again... but i know this isnt easy... especially for me...
hmmm i guess can only sit back and watch how happy other couples can be... =)
demoralizing wor... =( envy envy

Destroyed Hearts

2009-09-11T01:55:00.003+08:00

Suppose to be updating on Priscilla's wedding but i decided to put it on hold as i am feeling extremely strong for this entry...
this entry is mainly for myself and also my buddies who are suffering from the same situations as i do...

my girly gang which has been wif me for the longest period of time consist of 4 of us (min, joan, mich and me) out of the 4 of us, 3 met wif the fate of being betrayed by the guy that we trusted and love the most...

one by one we are facing with situations like that... so please spare the last ger from this.. we really wan her to be the most fortunate ger out of the 4....
3 of us handled the situation differently due to our individual character...
initially i didnt really feel so much about it... i only feel the anger part, but ever since leonard left me, my thoughts and feeling changed... its more to disappointment and pain...
Is it really that hard to find a guy that is true and sincere??

its really painful to be betrayed by the one that u love the most...
esp when u know that he is enjoying the 'love' while u are suffering alone... sad fact...

honestly after all these experiences from myself and frm friends ard... i fear relationship...
after attending pris's wedding yst, i started to miss the feeling of being in love, or in fact all of a sudden i no longer fear relationship and in fact want to love and be in love...
yet in less than 24 hrs i heard of another close friend of mine being betrayed... it pushed me back into my shell once again.... fearing love and relationship...

had been meeting with some new friends, 1 or 2 really caught my mind...
and i highly doubt there will be anything out of it because of the fear i have towards relationships...
i know this shouldnt be the way but thgs are jus not positive....
contradicting life... want to love yet fear to love...
true love do exist i believe, but not all gers are lucky... i know i am not the lucky one....
the path to love is so dark that i am loosing my way...

Priscilla's Stag Night~~

2009-09-07T02:23:00.005+08:00

Finally we are counting down to our dearest babe's wedding...
celebrated her Stag night on saturday at Boiler after our beloved steamboat session...
very last min we do up a veil for her as we missed the tiara out.. =p
but it was a nicely done one.. our 1st weddin pressie for her...
we arent mean ppl... we oni made her wear it aft steamboat at bugis all the way to st james throughout the night at Boiler...
the oni prob she has is while she is drivin.. the veils give her difficulty in turnin her head... =p

it wasnt a huge grp of us last night... present was me, junna charlene, teresa and kim...
and amazingly we had loads of fun and laughter...
thanks to the help of william who managed to get us a table and guestlist...
not forgetting the special arrangement of getting her up on stage for her Stag night game...
it wasnt really tough for our babe cos naturally she is HOT!! even the emcee and singers salutes to her courage and how supporting she is...
the dancer gave her a lap dance and in return she did the same...
and she is soooOOOOOO good that made all of us go crazy... even the singers were amazed...
i heard alot of compliments that she is HOT, SEXY and COOL... well done babe... u r perfect...
it was again another night of kisses... but this time round no more gays..
its us gers... ITS A GERS NIGHT!! all of us literally kiss and kiss...
miss those times when we hang out over the weekends partying and have fun...

kim is super wonderful... always great to have her ard...
auto on high mode even w/o alcohol.. yeah...
thats how we gers do it... its not the drinks that make it fun, its the companion....

we are all counting down to the big day on wed.. really looking forward to it...
its gonna be another series of fun and laughter...

once again thanks to william and his friends for being there sharing the fun...
great ppl and fun bunch of party ppl...

also congrates to the new couple... William and Patrick...
seems that their big day is drawin near too.. haha

~孤单的人总说无所谓~

2009-09-03T03:25:00.001+08:00

~孤单的人总说无所谓~
蔡依林

我的心真得累了
难道你一点也看不见
解释再多也不能改变
感情不能靠我一个人挽回

开始学着不要人陪
假装孤单也是一种美
大街上的情人双双对对
让我看得心越来越碎

孤单的人总说无所谓
其实心里一直在下雪
总是希望有个人
能够敞开我心扉
让我在他怀里找到安慰
孤单的人总说无所谓
一直独自整理所有伤悲
掩饰心中的感觉
强忍眼角的泪水
聚聚散散不愿说后悔

孤单的人总说无所谓
其实心里不停在下雪
只能希望有个人
试著敞开我心扉
让我在他怀里找到安慰

孤单的人总说无所谓
还是独自整理所有伤悲
掩饰心中的感觉
强忍眼角的泪水
聚聚散散不愿说后悔

埋藏心中的感觉
擦干眼角的泪水
聚聚散散
不愿说后悔

Smashed Again~~

2009-09-02T00:53:00.002+08:00

its the smashed feeling once again...
collected my results today... finally after so long....
the results are kinda expected... i didnt make it...

i guess i shldnt blame anyone but myself...
for loosing concentration for a man that at the moment worth nothing to me...
and for loosing myself and forgetting all my goals, dreams and aims in life...

had been freaking disappointed with myself for what i had been doin and wat i done...
really need to shift my self back to who i use to be and who i am actually...
i needa find myself...

hasnt been at the best of my luck and best on my personal form...
i wanna kill the angie in me now... i wan back the old angela...

kinda miss eric today...
dunno y... maeb bcos i spoke to alvin yesterday ba...
~emoing~

Happy Birthday Wilx!!!

2009-08-31T03:17:00.006+08:00

N.O.S.S had the first birthday celebration together for Wilson on saturday...
coincidently it is also Kenneth's Birthday...
Happy Birthday to Wilson n Kennth....
yesterday was a night full of people, alcohol, dance and DRUNKARDS...
Wilson, Moo and Terence are puking ard the table already....

i dunno if i should say the night is fun or boring... hmmmm
i guess bcos of some irritating ppl who stepped on me and cause me to break my nail jus spoiled the whole night of mine ba...

afterall it was fun being with the lot of them with the additional new N.O.S.S member which is my favorite MOO!
the group is getting bigger and more fun ahead... yeah
it was a night full of kisses... wilx got his birthday kiss from every single one of us...
some others got kisses from some random gers.. =p

its kinda gayish for the guys.. but thats ok.. cos for N.O.S.S its normal...
thats what they always do and they love to do ... lolx

we had too much drinks in fact... we only open a 3 litre hennessy but wilx's boss and colleagues opened like another 4 bottles... killing him and the guys who helped him with the drinks...
so drunk tt they cant even rem wat happened... wasted

i guess the oni sober is oni me and benny...

there is a stupid man who wanna make me dance with him and worse still challange ppl to dance at the table area... haha...
even daniel and moo dunno wat he is doin la..
lucky moo came back at the right time.. i immediately dragged moo to join in and dance...
Moo made the final move and ended the whole situation.. Yeah!! haha...
best moo on earth...
whole night ended leaving most of them behind cos too tired after a long day...
haha... but more stories for ppl who stayed back...

More plans ahead with N.O.S.S looking forward to more fun and laughter...

Priscilla's Birthday @ Kbox

2009-08-30T14:44:00.002+08:00

More and more events, more and more celebrations coming the way....
happy~~~
Celebrated Pris's birthday at Kbox on friday nite... WooOoOoo
Drinks, Laughter, Singing, Chatting... best combination!!
The babes of the nite... all attached except me la... =(
the messy men... haha....
da shao, kor kor n ME!! lol

as usual we will carry out the family tradition...
for this yr pris has to pick 3 items that we stuff into the cake... haha...
she is good... super pro... haha
a very sweet moment of she and eric...
we are all counting down to your weddin in sept le wor....
*envy*

Charity Walk for Cancer Society

2009-08-30T14:32:00.003+08:00

Went for the walkaton for cancer society on sat morning....
its a torture stayin awake game cos i didnt throughout the night due to my carelessness...

i almost lost my portable harddisk la... lucky i managed to get it back...
thanks a million to wilx and benny who came all the way to fetch me to search for it...
thanks guys....

met the rest at 730am at funan before the walk... mac breakfast...
SP-Eric Hew-Gabriel Tan (with GT)

the whole session was relatively short... headed home once done cos have to rush for afternoon apt.... argh.... long long saturday for me....

Rocky Love

2009-08-26T02:23:00.007+08:00

My life so far had been a rocky and unstable one...
at moments thgs seem real fine and the other in went the opposite...
it makes me start to doubt if i am asking too much or i am too naive...

i believes in people and thgs easily.. thats y i fall in love and in situations easily...
but i have an issue trusting someone... esp when it comes to relationship... i guess this had been planted in me by leo who misused my trust...
i understand that people varies, but y am i not able to find the right one whom i can really trust, whom i can give all the freedom he wants jus like how i had been doing before...

recently realised that i still have the ability to fall in love and to like someone...
but jus 1 week, thgs changed... completely...
i begin to doubt whether guys like me for who i am or for how i look only??
shallow world...
cant imagine what would i be if i am still the angela few yrs back...
will i be outcasted by everyone?? will i still get all the attention and care??

i dun really ask much from a guy... i dun need his money, i dun need pratical stuff...
wat i need is jus love, care, trust...
why is it so tough?? or is it because people dun even trust themselves how they expect me to trust them?? hmmmm....
or is it because they dun even know what they wan, wat they thk and how they feel? they dun even know themselves?? weird...

the searchin game is becomin more and more hurtful...
i begin to fear to commit yet i am willing to commit...
i wan to love yet i fear falling in love...
the price of love and relationship is too much for me to bear...
what should i do now??
shut my doors and reject entry of love?? of shld i keep trying??
i guess i would op for the first...
crawl back and love the world being alone....
with no one but myself....

Various Status in life

2009-08-25T12:27:00.003+08:00

This is one of the main thg me and priscilla was talking about when we met for lunch on sunday...
Status in life.. what i referring to is status like : Single, Attached, Married, Engaged or even Divorced...

we have various roles and status at the different stage in life.. but how well do we really fulfill the various requirements and stick to the "Dos and Don'ts"
i guess due to everyone's thking and needs, all of us choose to act and behave the way we wanted instead of following the respective roles...
i dunno if this is good or bad...

in 2 weeks time, pris is gonna take up the role as a married woman... and for the time being i am still holding on to my single lady... how well had we been holding our status and roles?
for pris i guess she is alright cos she had been a real nice lady all this while... but as for me...

being single for the past 6 mths had been good and bad...
attention is what i got from alot of people, but dunno why i dun feel happy with too much of the attention...
i only want attention from the one and only guy i love and i adore..
sad fact is that thgs are not what we expected and wanted i guess...
we just dun get what we wanted in life at times ba... i'm jus curious... why is it so hard??

hmm... i am stuck cant write for the moment, shall continue when stuff flows into my mind again

Happy Birthday kor kor

2009-08-23T13:16:00.003+08:00

Happy Birthday to u...
Happy Birthday to u...
Happy Birthday to kor kor...
Happy Birthday to u...

hehe....

met up wif the gang to celebrate kor kor's 30th birthday... haha...
i guess all of us changed alot... we no longer party anymore...
this time we celebrated at the chinese restaurant at UOB building... haha.
not bad.. quite a nice place... we all planned to save up for a fabulous meal there again...
this time no more buffet but the finest dishes...
according the the tradiiton... kor kor have to sabo himself...
30 yrs old.. 3+0=3 lucky for him oni 3 items.... the culprits for this time is Me (i am the founder of the tradition lor), Junna & Priscilla..
then he have to kiss da shao with his dirty mouth and feed her wif the strawberry...

as his beloved mei mei.. i also have the privilledge of being fed by my kor kor... haha
jus before the cake cutting, the randomly created a Chinese Traditional "Cake"
Fusion mix... haha
its always fun having dinner with the rest...
they are always so sweet, fun and lovin towards me...
there are also the ones who stood by me on the day i was dumped... =p
Love kor kor, love junna, love priscilla, love raymond, love KY love all of u la... haha

All of us are so close like a family... so sweet... but as most of them are attached, or in fact all are attached, they dun really hang out alot.. hmm.. leavin the youngest alone =(

yesterday finally collected my sister's dress and invitation card for pris's weddin next month...
haha... look at all our expression.... so cute!!
seems that more gatherings coming up the next 2 week...
KTV for Junna & Pris's Birthday on the 28th...
Hen's nite for Pris on the 5th...
Wedding day on the 9th... WOoooOo HOoOoooO...

gonna meet them more and more le... so looking forward to it....

oh ya... to prove that the resturant really serves good food... i have evidence...
the pregnant MEN in the family....
haha... seems that Raymond will be due for delivery soon... haha....

had alot of fun... cheers to all...

Sentosa Day Out!!

2009-08-17T01:12:00.002+08:00

I had FUN at Sentosa cos there isnt much SUN!! lolx
i kept my promise to N.O.S.S that i will head to sentosa cafe del mar with them... and we went... really lor...
i guess most of my friends cant believe the fact that i will go in the day la... lolx

god had been sweet to me for giving us a GREAT weather... NO SUN (best) no RAIN!! yeah yeah... we went there in the late afternoon somemore... lol...
i am the worm for today cos didnt really slp last nite... lucky we manage to grab a place that i can slp la.. happy~~

had been awhile since i last went del mar... alot of memories there.. not wif leo or eric but wif my kor kor and friends... lolx... i still rem the last time they threw me into the pool lor...
but this time the culprit is terence la... drag me in... bad bad...

Angie loves her back la... lolx... the last thg i ever wanna see is my back getting tanned lor..

My fav pic for the outing!! lol... all bcos i look small and slimmer la...
cos of the giant beside me... LOLx...

after sentosa we went for dinner at bugis then to mind cafe... crazy ppl... always full of energy...
but fun.. i like... lolx
seems that N.O.S.S fell in love wif sentosa and seems that we are heading there again next week..
ANGIE need MORE BIKINI and i need to LOOSE WEIGHT la...
desperately need help!! lolx

Love Love Family~~

2009-08-17T00:54:00.003+08:00

Had been some time since the family really gathered ard...
hehe... this is another update sessions for all of us...
happy~~

randomly wuyi took chalet at Downtown east, i guess partial also bcos of jennifer ba... her in-laws are in town from china, tats y they decide to organise some sort of gathering.. but who cares.. we just enjoy la.. lolx...

dayi and gan mama was freaking busy the whole of friday and sat lor.. preparing the food and stuff.. jus felt tt they prepared abit too much lor... for oni 30pax (50% on diet) they prepared the whole list of food..
-30 Pax 10 Dishes Buffet
-60 Otah
-Nonya cakes
-cheng teng
-po biah
-oneh oneh
-chicken curry
-BBQ (Chicken, sausages, hotdog etc)
-donuts

how to finish lor... all of us have to start eating the moment we reach.. lolx
Cousins in Action... My love since young...
was telling them that we shld gather at yima's hse to stay overnight together (although i am always there) cos i jus watched 'UP' and there's a scene that ellie and the old man hide and camp under the blanket when young... this reminded me of our childhood fun lor... but i guess with all of us grown up, we might need quite a few blankets to shelter all... lolx
we act stupid again la... with mei mei's specs... idiot lor

had alot of fun... gonna end off this entry of the SUPER FUNNY pic of DADDY TAN!!

Love is a searching and waiting game... not a game for me

2009-08-15T22:47:00.003+08:00

Love is a game that has no define definition.

Even the word itself has no definite definition cos afterall I depends on each and every individual who looks at this word and this game.

I remembered that after I broke up wif leo, I told myself that I wanna wait for him cos he is the man that I really loves a lot. After a while, ppl had been askin me to move on and telling me the importance of movin on in life.

Now I decided to keep my feelings for him in a hidden chest in my heart and to lock it deep down. Then the searching game begings…

Searching for the next mr right and waiting for fate to knock on my door.

Opportunities and guys are all ard. I got a lot of attention and care since the day I started to move on, yet none had caught my eyes. Until recently someone came knocking on my door. Floating his presence, and in a way he gave me a real good feeling.

I guess fate played another prank on me cos this current situation happens to be the same as leo. This very guy is attached too.. I reminded myself of karma and reminded myself that I shldnt be hurting another ger. Yet I fell again… although its not a fall yet but I consider that as something close to it.

Its hard for me to like someone or to get interested. But seems that I had been hitting the wrong persons. Hate this fact.

I am a person who believes that everythg is possible, but dunno y, I have zero confidence this time round. And I guess the best way to handle this situation is to close all doors once again. I fear the feeling of opening up the doors, opening up and having the willingness to commit to someone.

I started to regret opening up after wat happened in feb, aft wat leo had taught me, aft wat karma returned me. I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have exposed myself. I shouldn’t have reminded myself that I can still love. Stupid me.

Gonna run back into my shell again… dun wanna be confuse anymore. dun wanna feel the pain anymore...

Angie wif her black hair again

2009-08-15T15:58:00.002+08:00

I dyed my hair black... LOL
after 8 years with colored hair i finally decided to dye it back to the natural color..
which is BLACK!!

Ah Lian No MORE!!

N.O.S.S National Day Celebration

2009-08-14T12:37:00.002+08:00

N.O.S.S Celebrated National Day at Cozy Bay...
It was a fun & Romantic night watching the fire work and taking pictures...
we were lucky to be there earlier and being able able to park at the condo carpark...
heng heng... if not we sure get stuck somewhere and miss the firework... hehe...
all of us were there except Wilx being late due to his dating.. lolx

while waiting for the firework to start we literally cam whore the whole nite...
taking pics one aft another and posing like models la.. lolx..
with our lousy cams and phones... lols... sianz.. if nt will get perfect pics le...
These are the emo shots with new effect that i found in my cam...
rarely explore my cam functions although it had been wit me since i am 21... lolx

we had a fun night camwhoring... lolx...
the firework was kinda disappointing and i find it kinda short... hmmmm.... nvm better than nuttin... lolx...

we settle our dinner at nic's place with pizza and KFC that me, andy and terence da bao...
mahjong all night after that leh.... happy...
had a busy Long Weekend...

Wonderful Day

2009-08-14T12:25:00.002+08:00

I had a wonderful thursday that ended with a great movie...
busy canversing and travelling ard the whole day.. but felt good...

had the best slp since feb... make me feel so energized today..
Angie Fly High!!

Leopard's Nite Out!!

2009-08-12T16:27:00.002+08:00

i use this title as Leopard's Nite out as i finally wore my "xiao bao" dress out after so long...
had been a while and this is my new buy lor.. very much in love with it... even more after the night at PH... lolx
this is my new Xiao Bao Dress bought online... a freaking good buy...
really glad that the parcel didnt go missing lor.. lolx...

N.O.S.S celebrated National at Powerhouse... AgAin~~~ lolx
but as usual with the gang its always fun and happy...
love it with them around... and besides them i have emily and gers ard too....
More fun and enjoyment lor... gt more gers dance wif me than guys le... lolx

it was another crazy night of drinking... 3 bottles in all AGAIN!!
seems that we had been drinking more and more la.. siao liao... dun seem to be a very good sign wor... hmmm....
but dun wanna cut down at the moment cos drinking had been fun and partying had been fun...
at least it takes off thgs that i dun wanna thk abt frm my mind for the nite and for the moment...

LONG LIFE TO N.O.S.S!! LONG LIFE TO PARTYING!!
lolx

Dinner gathering wif the folks

2009-08-12T02:07:00.002+08:00

went for a dinner gathering wif the 'Tan' Family and folks last friday...
had been ages since we last did that.. or in fact i can say had been years since the last time we had dine together... this simply refer to my sister Cindy...
due to some misunderstandings years back, it had been a while since we last contacted...
really glad and happy that thgs are fine now and finally we are slowly getting back on track to how we use to be...
surprisingly after so many years, we are still alike in some ways...
i guess this is the character of the Ox arian ba.. lolx...

Ger really happy to meet u again and catch up with u again... dun wanna loose u again okie...
we had our dinner at ION orchard, Fish n Co after which we head to Helipad to look for Xiao Bai for a drink... had been a while since they visited there tts y we headed there la...
Xiao Bai misses all of us too much le.. lolx
This is our 'Tan' Family pic.. lolx.. Angela Tan, James Tan and Cindy Tan..
With our da shao... hopefully kor kor and joan can bloom well.. lolx.. looking forward to some nice endings wor... lolx
Our Group pic for the night taken by Xiao Bai... Sweet~~~

Thanks raymond for the wonderful pics taken and also the quick upload unlike the previous one la.. lolx
I simply love the 2 pics below that he took... at least i dun look fat la...
vain leh... lolx... thanks raymond... love it
had a great meeting with them... will be looking forward to the 23rd for ah kor's 30th birthday.. lolx

Random thoughts

2009-08-09T17:41:00.002+08:00

Things is simple yet complicating...
this is the same as how i define love and relationship..
and all along i tot i will only define it for BGR issues but now i realise even friendship can be pretty complicating yet interesting..

met up wif cindy again, jus the 2 of us..
after so long... since few years back till now...
surprisingly the feeling is back. kinda the same as before, as how close we use to be..
really glad and appreciates her presence now..
cos i know that she is one person that really knows me well...
cos we belong to the same kind of person..

matters of heart had been bothering me or i should say irritating me...
i dunno wat is the right word i should use... its jus a confusing feeling...
there are quite a few options now but they are not my choices due to various reasons...
there are few that i kinda like, but somehow still have to see how la due to various reasons...
but i dunno why somehow my heart still feels for him only...
i know this is stupid, yes i know.. but i just can help having that feeling...

just pray that thgs will be simplier...

Love Zodiac Profile: Aries

2009-08-08T03:30:00.001+08:00

If you are Aries:
You are very romantic. You do not hold back your feelings and are very expressive in love and romance. You are very charming and amiable. In any social gathering, the opposite sex is attracted towards you. The opposite sex likes you because of your good looks and sociable nature. Since you attract so much attention from the opposite sex, your steady partner may feel jealous and possessive about you. But you are faithful to your partner. You are a very spontaneous lover. Your partner loves your little ideas of love and romance. You are a dynamic lover and wear the pants in your relationships.

Your kissing style:
You are a fantastic kisser. Your kisses are unforgettable.

To attract you, the opposite sex must be:
passionate, very active, not very sensitive, effervescent, etc.

You are more compatible with - Sagittarius, Leo, Aquarius
You are less compatible with - Cancer, Gemini, Pisces, Virgo

lol.. how true is this leh??

Another Sweet Couple

2009-08-06T12:32:00.002+08:00

Congratulations to Pris Babe for her coming wedding next month...
envy la... super sweet couple..

Recevived these 2 pics from her while she is selecting the better one for her reception...

women look best in wedding gowns.. really... she look damn good in these 2 photos...
looking forward to her complete album for her wedding photos...

Counting down to the day of love and joy =)

Lost of Fighting Spirit

2009-08-05T02:29:00.002+08:00

had been feeling freaking demoralized for the past few weeks..
being sick held me back in alot of ways.. and dunno why seems that i get tired easily nowadays..

had been tryin very hard to meet my target for last mth.. sad fact i missed it..
and seems that its holding me back even further...
the start of august isnt as fantastic despite the wonderful trip i had with N.O.S.S

after i came back issues started to hit me one at a time..
this isnt the 1st time so in a way i am kinda use to it already...
jus the "Sianz" feeling...

gonna work harder now.. have more plans in mind...
gonna work towards it else i have to seek alternatives...

God please bless me with a smoother path in life... i had enough

My Wonderful KL 7 Genting Trip

2009-08-04T14:12:00.006+08:00

had a great trip with N.O.S.S
it made me felt so depress after reaching home cos the trip ended so fast =(
the company for the trip is simply TOO wonderful...
its a trip of fun, laughter, rubbish and shopping!! lolx
Angie had loads of fun...
i didnt really slp the night b4 the trip... and the same goes to most of them except andy and xiumin.. lolx
i guess all children are the same.. too excited the nite before any excursions.. lolx

shopping is the priority for this trip and as usual, angie never let herself down on this part.. lol
i am already very broke b4 the trip but i can still make full use of my money there la.. freaking happy... shopping is always the best...

we set off early in the morning at 5am (supposed to be at 4.30am) and we reached malaysia for our breakfast at mac very early... afterwhich we head straight to KL reaching there ard 11 in the morning... suppose to go Time Square for shopping but... haiz... caught in the jam and "holan" the way there lor.. cos our dearest GPS Terence didnt slp and his battery running low.. lolx...
we head up to Genting to checkin at abt 6pm... 5 of us shared 1 room la.. cos we wanna leave the other room for andy and xiumin... lolx...
the way up is freaking foggy and cant really see the cars ard us or even the lines on the road... scary... but lucky we have loads of drivers on board, its a safe and fun trip up...
Genting is frezzing cold the 2 days... and i oni had shorts and skirts with me... Best thg is i dun even have a proper jacket that can keep me real warm... argh... almost froze to death...
we head down to KL after checkin to shop... lol... shopping is real good there cos its freaking cheap... oh mus mention tt N.O.S.S is full of shopaholics la... not jus angie alone...
we went party at Safari in Genting after shopping... lols..
the music lure us in... and Angie needs her gymming session to keep warm... lol
Safari club and angie dresses according to the theme wor...
this is SooOoo Nice!! lolx... Angie and her leopard prints la.. lolx
after party all of us are perspiring like mad.. lolx
my Room mate Mr Nic.. lolx.. he is such a boy la... super furnie...
they had alot of fun in the room while i am in the shower lor...
*pics in fb*
for the night we oni managed to get to rest for about 4 hours cos by the time we all hit to bed its almost 6am in the mo

Had craving for mary brown the moment i reach malaysia but i never get the chance to eat =(
after club we intended to head to mary brown for supper but bcos of the drinks... non of us still wants to eat... and finally Mary Brown became the breakfast for all before we leave for home...
We head down to Time Square again at 12pm the in afternoon...
as usual we spent alot of time being late.. lolx.. we initially planned to reach KL at 11am...
N.O.S.S is love... lolx

Finally we reached Time Square... due to the experience accumulated the nite before from *holaning* we reached there in the shortest time possible... The N.O.S.S guys... *andy missing*
With the Princess.. lolx... i came to realise their backview looks better la.. lolx
"bei duo fen"

we did a height comparison settin me as the standard.. lolx
the oni motive behind it is to make me look short
Shopping is not enough... we dun have enough time... argh
we didnt get to massage, get my mani and pedi done, no fish spa, no hair coloring.. lols..
cos all time spent on shopping...

guess what we are back on sun and last night we head in for "lok Lok" again...
seems that they are planning for another session on thurs... faintz...
Malaysia gonna be our 2nd home in no time.. lolx...

N.O.S.S is planning for another trip... maeb Malacca next week and Taiwan or HK towards the end of the year... WoOOoOo looking forward...
Must work harder and Chiong to earn for my trips... Yipee!!!

I Love N.O.S.S.... Really feel so blessed to have u all by my side at this stage in my life...
thanks alot guys...

To my dearest N.O.S.S:
Andy: dun b naughty le wor if not cannot safe ur last 13 inches
Benny: my dearest kor kor la... no more chasing of Posche wor...
Terence: Remember to charge the GPS when we out again ok =p
Nic: Stop being a boy la... so furnie... and u really beat me lor... u r crowned the Sleeping King... can slp regardless where we are la...
Wilson: thanks for helping me throughout the trip... very nice of u...
XiuMin: lucky have u ard, if not they will sure bully me de =(

Lesson learnt from the trip: Chance cost 50 ringgit. What about community chest??
*malaysia tp charges* lolx

I LOVE N.O.S.S!!

2009-07-31T01:30:00.005+08:00

Some updates on the activities with N.O.S.S
had been doin all sorts of activities la..
prawning, golfing, bowling...
Its FuLL of FUN!!
Nic edited a new pic.. Done by Nic.. thanks alot
Nice~~~
Golfing had came back into my life again... WOoOooOo
Finally found khakis to play again lor...
The Hungry Men of N.O.S.S
the tim sum supper before Mustafa...
We went bowling... LOL...
i am freaking lousy la.. but its fun playin with them...
cos furnie lor.. but hate the fact that i am lousy...
gonna play more to get better...
was sick for last week and my dearest N.O.S.S brought me out once i recover...
we went east coast to the 'Diao Wa Wa' place again...
felt a little painful when i was there cos it was the place that meant alot to me and leonard..
its a place of 'togetherness'

but now its a place of 'TOGETHERNESS' for me and N.O.S.S too...
the guys got me 6 Stitches.. lolx.. so nice...
gonna upload more pics once i compile them together... lolx

I've Recovered...

2009-07-31T01:18:00.002+08:00

Finally i have recovered from my fever and stuff...
now oni left with the irritating cough that refuse to go... haiz...

dunno y had been feeling kinda low for the past few days despite the fact that i had recovered and the upcoming trip...
maeb bcos of my sales ba... cos i am sick so delayed and held back by alot..

went door knocking with Pamela twice this week.... met with some furnie incidents...
it was real tiring but dunno y... quite satiesfying also..
today Pam's hubby came to pick her up aft we are done with the door knocks..
hmmm... was a little jealous or i shld say envy her ba...
leonard used to pick me up from work and it really feels good to see him aft a tiring day...
but now i guess, i have to learn to be alone ba...

had been 5 mths already and i am still not use to it.. lousy ger...
i have to get use to it.. cos i have a life on my own...

heard from him that he found a new 'local' ger who stays near him...
good for him ba.. hope he can settle down....
*deep down still feel bad knowin this fact*

4th Day Being Sick @ Home

2009-07-23T20:26:00.003+08:00

Today is already the 4th day i am sick at home...
argh... fever hit me on monday night after dinner with boss and work...

lucky benny is nice enough to come all the way to send me to doc in the middle of the night.
Thanks benny =)

1st night the temperature hit up to 38.2 deg... the nurse was kinda shocked that she immediately put on a mask and handed me a mask... hmmmm....
but to me its kinda common la.. whenever i have serious flu and fever, this temperature is pretty common....

i got better the next day and i went out with my fellow N.O.S.S
this is taken by terence.. he say must take lor...

after tue night i never head out anymore cos my temperature never go down and in fact it keep rising... =(
today is already the 3rd day i am home =( so bored... no one talk to me...

i received a surprise delivery in the morning =)
Thanks Wilx for the porridge and sweet... =)
i feel so loved by N.O.S.S...

so worried about my sales these few days cos i am home not being able to work on it.. =(
haiz... really need alot of luck....

I WANNA GET WELL FAST!! I WANNA GO OUT WITH N.O.S.S... I mISs them so Much!!

i dreamt of him again...
on tuesday night after i ate my medication, i dozed off...
and i dreamt of leonard again...

i my dreams, he came back looking for me, and told me tt he will change as long as i stay by his side... i am really happy in my dreams... happier than i can imagine...
when i wake up, i feel so disappointed... cos its a dream afterall...

last night i have the urge of calling him, i cant control myself...
i called him but he's outside with his friends, so i hang up in less than a min...
=( at least i heard his voice...

dunno why i miss him so much these few days too =(

Finally Told~~

2009-07-08T02:35:00.003+08:00

It had been almost 5 mths since i broke up with leonard.
Things are going on fine for him i guess.
and on my side, i am kinda coping well on and off.

for these while, besides the fact that i am not able to completely let go.
the other issue thats running in my mind is how to tell my parents about it.

cant imagine, after 5 mths and i have yet to tell my parents about it.
for the past mths, on and off they will ask me regarding leonard and why he hasnt been coming up to my place.
as i dun have the courage to tell them, i had been coming up with funny funny reasons.
and finally, i no longer have to lie. No more!

My mum came to my room to speak to me few days back.
talking to me about my job and stuff. and i guess as they are not really convinced by my excuses for him not appearing at my place, my mum asked me again regarding him.
She started off by asking me if he will be joining us for their birthday dinner (in aug).

I just felt that this will be a good time to tell them as i wont wanna disappoint them just before their birthdays. So i told her the truth. i simply said "妈，我们分开了!"
There was a moment of slience before she make any comment.
i guess she can sense that i was kinda sad when i told her the truth, so she simply reply "orh, ok lor" and left my room. without askin me about what happened.

until today, she hasnt ask me a single thg about it.
i guess, she wont ask me for the details as she knows that if i wanna share, i will tell her even without her asking.

Really appreciates that she never ask further cos i wont know how to answer and in fact, i feel that i might just come up with another story to cover up the facts.
i dun wanna lie anymore. not anymore towards them.

My parents rarely asked about my relationships and they always respect my decisions.
so far, they are ok with both of my ex bfs and have no objections of me being with them.
the sad fact is, i didnt manage to hold on to them and secure the relationship.

i dunno how long its gonna take me to sort out my mind and feeling.
i also dunno how long will it take for me to find another bf.
all i wanna do now is to show them that i am happy and i can take care of myself.
wont want them to worry for me anymore.

My Lovely N.O.S.S

2009-07-05T18:45:00.008+08:00

My Sadden life had been better recently with the help of the N.O.S.S
N.O.S.S represents Nights of Subaru Singles... lol

This name is derived from the fact that the 4 guys in the group drove Subarus (Coincidentally) and we always heads out in the night.
I added the word Singles behind cos 4 out of 5 of us are single and i want somethg to represent me in the name... so i simply added it.. lolx
now we are still in the progress of generating better name.. considering la... lolx...

i was kinda high on one of the night and i started naming every single car...

Wilx's Subaru is named "Hong Hong" (红红): He is the only red plate wor. so best fit name is 红红..
Benny's Subaru is named "Char Bo" = "Jar Bo": His car plate start with SJB.. lol.. i gave him alot of choices ar.. but he dun wan.. so dun care... just accept the fact tt its "char Bo" =p
Nic's Subaru is named "Chou Chou"(丑丑): His was the easiest to name, cos its the uglist version of imprezza.. lolx..
Terence's Subaru is named "Jolin": He had been using this name for some time le.. cos of his car plate numbers.. lolx
to realise, all the names of the cars are ger liked.. keke... match me... cos i am the only ger ma... so it wont be that lonely lor..

Introducing the N.O.S.S:

Wilson, Benny, Terence, Nicholas..
The Angel with her knights... lolx... Thanks guys... Great to have u all around...
More fun coming along!! Looking forward to the trip with u all... Yeah!!!

"Nobody"

2009-07-04T15:51:00.003+08:00

Hasnt been feelin wonderful recentli...
dunno y... just dun seem to be able to be as happy as before...

but lucky i have N.O.S.S by my side...
went KTV with the till 4am in the morning...
hanging out with them had been the most enjoyable times i had these 2 mths...
thanks alot guys...

Thanks for the song and "dance", it really brighten my night...

In video: Benny, Nic, Wilx, Terence & Andy...

Thanks guys... muacks

A Night Like that

2009-06-30T23:41:00.002+08:00

Generally people drag nights when they have too much in their minds to think about and to worry about.
this time my case is kinda opposite.
i dread the night when my heart felt empty and my mind went blank.

i dun exactly know what i am thinking about and how i am feeling..
its purely clear and peaceful which i fear the most.

seems that i had kinda lost some of my senses and my analytical ability.
i cant clear my own thoughts and define my own wants and needs.
i am jus surviving day by day doing what i think i am suppose to do without a real motive behind.
loosing of my own life i can say. sad fact in life.

picking oneself up is not an easy task. it requires loads of courage and support.
i do have the support but i am sure i dun have the courage now.
seems that there are tonnes of things for me to search and retrieve back into my life.

meanwhile, life goes on......

Singapore Flyer 25 June 09

2009-06-30T05:16:00.004+08:00

Finally went onto the flyers. supposed to be with him as we planned but sadly its not.
gave my 1st time onboard to my fellow family members in AIA.. lolx
it was a welcome session to newly joined members and also to coming team mates..
so as indicated, our whole bear family is there cos we are NEW too! lol

This is the mass group pic of the whole group of passengers on board the came capsule. taken before we board. nice rite.
this was taken on board the capsule.

Now introducing the Bear Family:
Our very first family photo taken (Left to Right): Shane, Joelle, Bear Bear (Eric), Crystal & Me

we all rushed down to the Flyers after work. Poor shane has to rushed from his foundation training. we were so worried that he wont make it on time and can only wave goodbye.. lolx

The 3 angels in the family. Theres something funny about the 3 of us appearing together all the time. People in the office have problem differentiating us by our names. So John simply call us 星星，月亮，太阳. No specific indication as who is which by generally this 3 terms... lolx... damn old sch lor..
These are some of the ladies in the office. Esp Jennifer on the extreme left. Thanks alot to her for taking the pics for us on that day cos we simply forgot about bringing a camera la.. lolx...

was a short 25 mins journey and nothing much to see actually.
but it was fun to be there with all of them. we were simply playing and running ard in the capsule. The funniest moment is when bear bear make fun of crystal who is afraid of height.
lol... nice session

i wont go up the flyers again in the near future until the IR is up ba... lolx

My Werid Monday

2009-06-30T04:54:00.002+08:00

this is a monday full of ups and downs...
2 morning appointments killing me with the blue feeling...
bad news from daniel made me feel so lost for the day...
closing 1 deal brings me back to life again...
talking to him again drag me back to the cruel reality again...

spoke to him on msn randomly...
was a nice chat actually. but still the sourish and painful feelin hit me...
causin me to be still awake at 5am in the morning...

saw the pics of his new ger(s)... *Ouch*
this is the expected feelin i guess..

i have alot in mind that i wanna blog about..
theres alot in mind i wanna tell him...
but dunno y at this point at this moment, i am just stuck with nuttin..
i dunno wat to say and wat to write...

i need someone to enlighten me. tell me why is things like that?
~lost~

Brain takes the lead!

2009-06-26T16:51:00.003+08:00

Jus read wil's blog and i fully agrees with what he says,
we simply follow our heart then our brain.
which leads us to no where but additional pain and sleepless nights...

it felt like a curse and there is no way to break this stupid curse.
i had been haunted by the thoughts of the past and him.
i really dun understand why am i so weak when it comes to relationship and when it comes to this issue.
really dislike this fact. stupid. felt so stupid.

i know i needa stay focus and i needed to stay strong,
yet i am not.
emotions really kills...

i wont allow this to continue, i cant..
will have to slowly let my brain take the lead and overtake the control from my heart.
i am gonna do it!

In the world of my Own

2009-06-23T21:49:00.003+08:00

I had already lost count of the no of nights that i cant sleep well or even sleep at all...
feeling really tired now..
but alot of things are still running in my mind...
i guess this is the main reason of my sleepless nights...

Saw this quote on Facebook by George korkor
"Love Is Not Abt Right Or Wrong , Is Only Abt Whether U Love Or Dun Love"
i like wat he said...

When it comes to anything related to feelings or relationship between 2 person, nothing is right or wrong, and as long as u love from your heart truely, sincerely, there will not be any regrets.

recently there is a rising number of broken relationships around me and heard tonnes and tonnes of stories, reasons or excuses. i felt upset for my friends whom truely commits to a person they love and ended up getting hurt. this includes myself.
i guess no one is to be blamed in any relationships that dont work out, all i can say is "this is life"

when u feel that he/she is the right person, you commit.
and once u feel that he/she is not good enough, not who you really looking for, you will start to think, find faults and eventually brings everything to an end.
Human are selfish by nature, and one have to be selfish to make the first move. they are not wrong, its just that they love themselves more.

after hearing all the various experiences that friends around me has.
alot of memories and thoughts started flowing back into me, haunting me.
bringing back all the things that i am trying to forget and making me stepping back to the place where i fell. my nightmare.

for the past few months i had been struggling to walk out of it and be on my own once again.
I can say that at this point i had managed to do it in a way, but i had also failed in another.
I am now stronger on my own and no longer feeling so emotional, but my weak side will still hit me once in a while remindin me of my pain and sorrow.
Gonna give myself more time to work on it and i believe in no time, i'll be perfect and happily on my own...

Work is starting to pile up and there are tonnes of things that i can work on. I am starting to feel the stress in it. Stress in passing all the test, stressing in getting clients and sales, but i am sure i can overcome all these one by one. I WILL & I MUST!

School gonna start real soon, now in the midst of deciding if i still wanna continue. its a tough decision. I guess more or less i will still carry on for the sake of my parents and also for myself.

Maybe its also because of the tonnes of stuff approaching and happening, i started to miss those time when i have someone by my side. The very person i can depend on emtionally and mentally. Giving me the little support and encouragement when i am tired and drained.
Miss the feeling of looking forward to see someone and planning for the next upcoming activity just for the 2 of us. Miss the feeling of having someone who cares for me and i can care for.

Not gonna be so soon i guess, not in the near months cos at this moment, i'm kinda afraid that history might repeat and i'm afraid of getting hurt. I guess i will only commit when i feel that i am completely fine so that i will be fair towards my love one and give him the all the love that i can. The problem is, by the time i am ready, will be love one be there? will i be able to find that special someone?
Changed my image a little about 1 week ago. Kinda like it.

I came to realise i am not OK

2009-06-22T13:00:00.001+08:00

I thought i am ok but yet i am not...
this is how i had been feeling recently...

just happen to see that he changed his profile in facebook from "in a relationship" to "Single"...
dunno y but suddenly my heart sank...
i dunno how to describe the feeling...
its jus feel like somethg pressing hard on me, on my shoulders, on my head and in my heart..

hate this kinda feeling.... =(

Breakup Season

2009-06-09T21:39:00.003+08:00

This period seems to be the breakup season or i should say for the past few months had been the case.
had been hearing about breakups, quarrels etc.
y relationship nowadays had become so fragile?
Or is it the effort placed into the relationship?

In a relationship, each person plays a different role or in fact everyone can choose..
the can be either the giver or the taker or even both... its a very 'grey' kinda thing...
but balancing in the role of a giver and taken within a couple is almost impossible..
cos everyone have their preferred role and their selfish sides...

Taking up either role can have their pros and cons and in fact staying and maintaining the respective role carrying out the required or expected acts and duties are never easy...
one can be a 'Giver' at the initial stage of the relationship and subsequently switched to the role of the 'Taker' unknowingly... this is when issues and probs starts arising cos the initial 'Taker' will feel the difference in treatments and might feel that the 'LOVE' is no longer there...
Usually 'Givers' are rarely tired of giving, in fact they are willing to give more as time goes by... Its only until the point when they start doubting the relationship then things starts to change...
On the other hand 'Takers' might get greedy by nature, expecting more and more as the relationship goes. Cant really blame them cos naturally human beings always ask for MORE!

'Givers' around me had met with obstacles in relationships. I had seen alot of 'Givers' tearing over the lost love and lost relationship yet one surprising fact is that MOST of the 'Givers' are still willing to give and commit even more in their next relationship. This includes myself.
Silly 'Givers'.

I guess this is the nature that makes us 'Givers'. Just wanna give all out into a relationship, Playing 'Show hand' in a Poker game. Never fear the fall even if it occurs overs and over again.
We know the pain, yet we never give up cos we dont want to deprive our next 'Prince Charming' or 'Angel' of having the feeling of being love and doted by us.

Silly 'Givers' might not be the best lovers but i am sure its comfortable to be around us.
'Givers' Power Unite!! lol

i kinda miss him today... maybe because i had been hanging up wif the "single" club too much...
i started to wonder if he even think of me?? just for that good 5 sec??
did he ever?? or he had already completely forgotten about me??
I will never know =)

Dragonfly on 7 May

2009-06-08T13:22:00.002+08:00

Had a great clubbin session wif my sisters...
Saw a msg on FB by feljiejie indicating an event at DF..
Its Celest's Concert... without hesitation i texted her saying that i'll be joining...

i will never forget the song i heard when i broke up wif leo...
Thanks....
i went there aft work wif crystal to join the rest...

Its a great session...
thanks for the invite feljiejie...

An entry for the 2 men in my life....

2009-06-02T21:13:00.003+08:00

There isnt much of a purpose in writing this entry...
read one of a entry by a fellow friend who wrote about all his ex-girlfriends and rating every single one of them...
it gave me an idea of writing but i didnt have to courage to cos this will be a relatively heavy topic for me to work on...

dunno what got into me tonight, i feel writing it...
for the 2 of them who came into my life and taught me how life should be...
i am not going to rate anyone of them cos to me every relationship is different and unique...
just gonna share how these 2 men changed my life...
they are important to 佳惠 to Angela...

1. Eric aka Eric Sky aka QingFa

He is the man in my life... Maybe alot of you all you dont know or maybe i should say i didnt mention much about him... our relationship dragged for more than 7 years before we really decide to part each other...

Met him when i was 16 in May... Its a weird start for our relationship. i knew him through an internet pal of mine... and we met up on a random day not on a date but just purely me accompanying him to grab some stuff at sim lim aft his attachement. he was in Poly Yr 3...

Just some background of 佳惠 (He and his family calls me by my chinese name): i use to be a tom-boy. Tee-shirts, berms, baggy jeans, platform slippers

It wasnt a pleasant meetup cos he passed alot of harsh comments on me throughout the evening we were together... and in my mind i was thking "IDIOT! i will never meet u ever again" he commented alot on my posture, my dressing and the way i carry myself...
after the outing i was thking "This guy will definitely not be my next Boyfriend" ... lol

surprisingly we still kept in close contact the night after we met and on the next day which is a friday 8 June 2001, 11:17pm he asked if i want to be his gf and randomly i agreed (dun ask me why cos i also dunno why i agreed)... we met up again the very next day for a proper date.. lol
thats how the whole relationship started... "Random" lolx...

I had a great 7 years by his side, he gave me the freedom, the respect and the love that i had never thought of... he changed me throughout the years... he made me wear skirts, and as time goes by the skirts gets shorter day by day...lolx... he made me wear tank tops and slowly tubes and dresses... because of him i changed willingly and learning to put on make up and even loose weight... for the great guy he had been, i am determined to loose weight for him (i was close to 72kg when i started the r/s with him)... he had never asked me to... i remebered very clearly that i ever asked him "dear, how does all ur guy's gfs look like?? are the all slim and pretty?? Are u embarrased to bring me out?" and he assured me with his ans "no! i dun really care how others look like cos they are not my gf.. i like the way u r.. whichever way u look" i was touched by his words and bcos of this i am determinded to changed to a better me... for him... i want him to have a presentable gf... from there i started putting on make up, doing my hair... lolx... that makes the new Angela today....

He is the man that knows me the best... even until today... no other person even my parents knows me and understands me more than he does... he can tell me my decisions even way before i told him anythg... he is that amazing... i was depend on him on alot of issues... whenever i meet with any problems or unhappiness he can solve it for me or enlighten me in a way... No one else have ever done anythg better than him... Its him who assisted me all the way and taught me the way in life...

he is not from a wealthy family, but he always has his way to provide me with thgs that he knows i like.. and surprises that i have always dream of... thats him...
he never knows how to say "I Love You" throughout the 7 years he rarely tells me that.. but i can really feel it... from my heart...

we adopted a dog together that's our 'Son' (Duffy is now with him)... we are really like a family... we planned for everythg including marriage... we almost got married when i was 21... but due to age and ambitions (mainly me) we decided to postponed it and eventually i lost it....

i dun wish to mention the bad side of him cos to me, those points are actually unique and special to me... all i can say is.. because of my expectations of myself and future, i lost the best relationship anyone can ever get... the best man that every girl can dream of...

I will always remember him... forever in my life... He is the man...
theres too much i can write about him... so i guess just have to really cut it short...
Wanna say a big Thank You to him...
thanks for everything and thanks for understanding....
even at the point when i wanna leave... he understands... and he knows....
Thanks so much dear...

Deep from my heart i wish U all the best for ur relationship... Best of luck for your future and for your everything... May u and daddy mummy mei mei be blessed with the best of luck and good health... =)

2. Leonard aka Leona

He is the guy that i made the same mistake twice.. lol
My very first bf when i was 15 and we were together for only 1 month... he dumped me for another ger he met...

we met again after 8 years and very quickly we fell in love with each other...
at that moment he is actually attached, so we kept thgs really offline and personal...
until the day he broke up with his gf then i started considering being with him...

he is really sweet and gentle towards me... we meet up every single night regardless how late how tired we were... we will definitely meet... he gave me the love thats completely different from eric...

we went to places to explore in the night, we went for supper, he waited for me at my office regardless how late i work to, he always made me day by doing silly thgs and giving me surprises... i love the guy who is so gentle to me... so giving, so loving...

we started off a small biz (our blogshop) and we went into investments together... i learnt alot about the outside world from him... he is a knowlegable person.. he knows alot.. about everything... he picks thgs up quickly and his analaytical skills is amazing... the way he analyses the market and thgs is super charming... lolx... we did good when the recession started...

good times dun last... his playful character ruined the whole relationship... subsequently the relationship is full of lies, broken promises and rejections... he choose to leave me for his fun and his freedom with his guys...

from this relationship i learnt alot and i lost alot... i learnt not to be silly and naive... never be too much of a giver and never fill ur life with nuttin but love... he showed me the dark side of man and relationship... he left me memories and pain...

i guess its from here i lost the ability to trust and to love...

all i feel like to saying to him is:
Leona, u choose it this way... i respect ur decision and i promised myself that i will live better day by day... i will no longer be the angela crying and asking u to come back... i will no longer do that... 被抛弃第一次傻，第二次笨.. i will wake up from here from this point and get my life back..
and if really we are fated for the 3rd time, please either let it be my last relationship or let me be the one to dump u... lolx...

thanks for the lesson u taught me... i still wish u the best in whatever you do... your future is in your hand, to cherish it or to ruin it, take your pick... i will be here as a friend to support u... =)

i learnt alot from these 2 relationships... regardless if its a painful experience... i enjoyed the moments with the 2 of them.... honestly speaking, i still love them... esp leonard cos at this point the pain is still relatively fresh... but i'm gonna lock the feelings for these 2 men in my life in the treasure box in my heart... locked and not gonna open it up until miracle happen ba... =)

Love is Sweet and nice yet painful...
我用真心面对每一段感情，换来的只是美丽的回忆
我无冤无悔...